Jun. 03, 2002 - 22:37 MDT

THE WONDERING JEW

Choice

Funny things happen in my home town, weird in fact. But sometimes are kept from getting weirder by our State Supreme Court.

Seems that going on ten years ago a man here agreed to the statement that he was the father of a certain child and would pay support.

So for going on ten years he paid support but never made any attempt to see his child.

He received a photo of the child from the mother and suddenly he decides he is NOT the father. Now he could have had a blood test taken early on at the time and he could have legally protested then, but didn't.

The guy wants out, some ten years after the fact.

The State Supreme Court said no way. Not sure of the wording here but the gist is that a man can't simply decide one fine day, for example that he will no longer support one or more of his kids -- even if he has begun to suspect that he isn't the biological dad.

I am sure in my own mind that there are quite a number of men in our country who knew they weren't the biological father of the child that bears their name. Who in fact became the father in all ways but one. Who lived up to the responsibility they assumed, loved, supported and taught the child. So, a seed sown in passing grows into a baby, becomes a person and a man is aware of the fact he isn't the one who sowed the seed but gives the child his name, love and support, helps raise him to adulthood. To my way of thinking that man IS the true father.

I guess this is not the day to have read that article. My daughter and her family will be on their way home to Eugene, Oregon at 5:30 AM tomorrow morning. All my children are treasures to us in and of themselves. We helped but they became what they strove for, and well they did the job.

Even though since I retired we have managed to see her, her mate and their children about twice a year, a time or two oftener than that. I cannot bid her goodbye, hugging her, telling her we love her with out choking up and crying a few unmanly tears.

No one really knows how long they will live and life can be extnguished in a split second, I know that. Statistically though, an 81 year old man knows that chances are, there will not be too many more meetings between us. Our other kids we do see frequently, yet the realization that my life is gradually winding down makes me want to hold them close each time I see them.

I have thought about this, deeply. Tried to put myself in the shoes of a man who by happenstance finds out he is not the biological father of one of his children. Tried to look at it in many different ways and can only come to one conclusion, regardless of anything else, that a person carrying my name would be a child of ours, loved, nurtured and raised by us.

To me there would be no other Choice . . . . . . . .

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