Jul. 02, 2002 - 20:59 MDT

THE WONDERING JEW

Like A Yo-yo

Things going along merrily today, work done, sitting reading and answering e-mail tonight. No bad things happened today either.

Almost as if the world has run down for me grinding to a halt.

Been here before, taking my meds as prescribed and going white knuckled one foot at a time.

Ticks me off that I cannot rigorously control my moods but that's not the way it works for me. Oh sure I can mentally kick by self in the back side, if I did it physically it would throw my back out of kilter.

My psyche could be compared to a little kid in a pout who is mad and determined to stay mad no matter how good things get. Substitute sad or depressed for mad and you got it.

Guess I read the news too much and the whole kaboodle is getting to me a bit. I do worry about the fires in the West in our country. Things are so dry that our land outside of the cities could burn to the bare, cremated ground. I worry about what the ding-bat administration is going to mess up next. At least it looks that way to me.

Just not my night I guess. In the scale of things you might say the last few days have been manic and now the low is with me. Mood swings bug me no end. Especially when there is no reason for them.

So tonight I sit in the corner with a mirror in front of me and glower at myself.

I do know that probably tomorrow morning my mood will be on the upswing. Swinging as high as my mood can go, which is more or less a sedate thing.

Guess one thing that bugs me is that we can't go to some of our favorite places for the Fourth because they have been burned over. As dry as things are in the West I don't even think it wise to go where the green forest is because a spark could start a holocaust cutting one from escape. Not a comfortable feeling.

Bipolar I guess you could say I am --- whatever, I don't want to feel Like A Yo-yo . . . . . . . .

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