Jun. 19, 2002 - 23:05 MDT

THE WONDERING JEW

My One

In a few hours we will be having our 59th anniversary. A mild and peaceful event in which the two of us will go see Wind Talker and have dinner.

I have spent most of my spare minutes today trying to write an entry in my mind, sat down at eight o'clock and put words in but it turned out GIGO at least as far as I was concerned. So I deleted it.

Way back when Heather decided I was a keeper, I am not sure it was out of compassion, pity or a taste for knicknacks but I have celebrated that acceptance and her love ever since.

It keeps coming to my mind over and over again how much harder it is for a wife to handle the duties as a wife and mother than it is for the husband and father. Sure there is no one hundred per cent anything, for the most part though I think that is true. Not only do they handle work that men won't do or can't do plus they seem to do the majority of serious worrying about the welfare of the family.

An illustration of what I am talking about. There was this man who was on a battle ship through World War Two, most of his time spent in the engine room. He met and married this young lady and she kept house ashore till the war ended. They came to his home town and eventually they had kids. He worked for a refinery with all its crazy shifts. He also worked with the volunteer fire department in his area which took up a great amount of his spare time and fires had priority over family. His wife raised their two kids, did the house work, cooking, laundry. She signed report cards, paid the bills and took care of all the family business. After he retired, she still handled all the family business. He began to have health problems, spent time in hospital and she kept on doing all the necessary things as well as caring for him. ------ She died. He is at sea (figuratively) and is not sure enough of himself to keep his bills straight and paid up nor does he pay particular attention to his prescription medication. I think if it weren't for his family he would be clear out of it.

Not a stereo type thing but it illustrates I think that most women handle most of the details of married life.

Although I have attempted to be on top of things and aware of our needs, Heather is by far superior to me in her intelligence and aptitudes plus she has the most loving heart I have ever seen. Even when I have irked her to the max and she leaves to go shopping, what happens ? Today my back was acting up and Tylenol wasn't dulling the pain and I managed to hurt and offend her. When she came back from her shopping trip there was something extra for me -- a lumbar pad for my seat in our new car, something she had heard me say I would like to have one of those. Now how often would a angry, hurt man do something like that ?

Unfortunately through my life Heather has had to be nurse, dietician and physical therapist aid. Our car wreck stretched her thin. Over a year of doctors visits after I got out of hospital and the same for physical therapy. The physical therapist would come once a week and put me through my paces and give Heather instructions for the following week. Heather did all that and ---- visited our daughter who is in an assisted living residence, visited her sister who has Alzheimer's as well as visiting family and having visits from family.

There are so many ways that she has performed above and beyond the call of duty from sheer love.

Fifty Nine years married, the miles she has traveled are two to My One . . . . . .

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