May. 12, 2002 - 21:48 MDT

THE WONDERING JEW

Easy

A day of happiness here. Just over ten of ten PM and most guests have departed. Here today two of our daughters who are Mothers one daughter-in-law who is also a Mother and the permanent resident Heather my wife a Great Grandmother and one of the aforementioned daughters who is visiting us. Assorted male types present but in the background, me too -- low profile.

I have gone through the Diarist.Net Awards several times now -- and almost on the verge of flipping a coin on each one of them. But that is not the way to go, I know. So I must evaluate each one in my own mind as to which I choose.

Some of the journalists I cyber know, some are new to me. Each one of the Entry part of the Awards I have read except for one that won't come up -- that one a journal entry I would like to read.

Trying to be impartial and looking at each entry as a new kid on the block and looking at new material as if by unknowns. Hard to do but I try. By Golly, they are all good, super good. What can I do but read and re-read picking microscopic nits trying to pick winners in my mind. I guess what I am saying is that they are all winners -- the difference is in degree maybe. It appears to me that those degrees are quite close together also.

Is it important ? Yes I believe so. I didn't pay much attention to the Awards before until the last set. Which thrilled me no end as I was entered for the Most Romantic award. There I was rubbing shoulders with my idol, John Bailey, The Old Grey Poet. For some strange reason that made me sit up and take notice. Some bodies thought something I wrote was worth a nomination as a finalist. What the heck, who me ? ? ?

So of course I read the list of all the finalists and saw what a great compliment was given me. Thinking along those lines it gave me much encouragement, made me think that once in a while this pig would find an acorn and polish it up a bit for the big folks to say, "Hey, old Dumbo actually said something good." Made me feel not only happy for my self because after all a diary is something that is a secret to ones self open only to any who surf the web. It let me know that I was achieving something that has always been a desire of mine. Communication with others. In my work life it was by mouth and I think my points were well made. As a hobby I became an Amateur Radio Operator, a brass pounder -- no voice involved but in a way similar to my diary. By pounding keys on a keyboard the similarity to communciation by Morse Code is quite apparent to me.

A diary didn't come easy to me. Making comments on forums and e-mailing back and forth to journal writers gave me the itchy feeling to do a diary. I had three cyber acquaintances I considered as Mentors (and still do) who gave me encouragement to write a daily blurb, telling me, "So, go ahead -- give it a whirl, if you don't like it you don't have to write any more. So Doug does a diary (Not Debbie Does Dallas). Happily as a bee in a bloom.

I think we all need encouragement, it helps us to know that there people with similar inclinations who feel we have something to say. It may cause laughter, tears, empathy and all sorts of mixed emotions, sometimes wrapped up all in one package. It is hard trying to be honest as if I am writing in one of those dime store diarys with the little leatherette strap, lock and key that the girls had by the dozens it seems, secretly for myself alone (I had one - deep secret). But it is worth the effort and has helped this man understand himself better than ever before.

I am not bragging, chest beating proud at being nominated for the last set -- just encouraged to keep seeking truth and myself.

Now back to the list of Finalists. Pick one in each category I will but to sort them out and vote for one in each category is difficult for me. Narrowing things down is for me definitely not EASY . . . . . . . .

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