Mar. 28, 2002 - 20:01 MST

THE WONDERING JEW

Foot In It

Life gets complicated for this odd, old geezer. Today we had a few stops to make, and then stops to make we had forgotten. We had the usual kinds of trouble. Gassed up at Costco, Heather went after a few items and I headed over to the hearing aid lady for batteries, she wasn't there today - family problems. It took a page on the phone to get a supervisor to come over. Fine, right batteries found, hmmm . . . . Costco only accepts Discover, Costco and a few specially marked Visa cards. I have a Visa but not one of those magic ones, so it worked out like this -- when I spotted Heather in the checkout line I joined her, told the checkout lady that I wanted the full package of hearing aid batteries referred to as the, "orange ones," another page to a supervisor, a wait, getting it across what I needed, a wait and the batteries were added to our loot and Heather wrote a check for everything. Then we stopped there for a Polish dog and drink. Job done, we thought but we had just left the property and I noticed the gas gage, does a gas gage ever do anything but say near empty ? We wheeled around and filled the tank.

We had only one more thing to do today which was to get this man shod. Shooting would probably be easier, but Heather doesn't like guns. Now getting shoes for me is not an easy thing and frustration is the norm, today exceeded the allowed frusting. We went a fair distance to a shoe store. There was a dazzling array of good looking shoes, some were even for men. But my desired footwear was with Velcro closure. I'm not really all that picky, it is just easier to bend down and close a couple of Velcro tabs on each shoe than to twiddle and fiddle trying to reach laces, get them tight and tied before my red face bursts from over pressure. Not that I am so fat really, just being five inches shorter than I was in high school my belly had to go some where and that was out, right in my way. To tie this together in a not so neat bundle, they didn't have one darn pair of shoes with Velcro closure for men. Say what ? Wearily I trundled my oxygen cart back to the car, put it in, got in, put safety belts on and off to another store. There were various reasons the next four stores didn't have what I needed. "We don't have anything in men's sizes, "We have a few in the women's section," "They are going out of style." "Why don't you try a Wellington boot style, they are comfortable," yeah right, struggling to put them on would be as bad as the shoelace operation.

We get in the next place, were shown to a seat and I was able to communicate to the sales lady that I needed Velcro closure shoes and had to be able to fit my orthotic splint in the left one. Finally she dug up a pair that fit, only they were white. You know, I can't get out the front door wearing white anything and shoes are worst of all. Saleslady went to her boss, came back and told us that those shoes could be ordered in black.

Heather looked at me my, safety valve lifted and I actually giggled. So we ordered them. Then we asked when they would be in. The lady said five days to two weeks. Then I chuckled. Heather said, "I guess you can't have them in for Easter then."

We trudged out to our car loaded the oxygen cart back in, got in, buckled up and headed home I thought. Heather came as close to cussing as she ever does and said, if it takes ten days you won't even have them for your birthday. After my safety valve had shut and I caught my breath from laughing I said, "You're probably right, but at least we know they will be there eventually and I am not walking on bare feet yet."

In an uncomfortable silence we went on our way. Heather said, "I want to stop at Hobby Lobby and the Supermarket on the way home." I went into hysterical laughter like I do when I am completely out of it from fatigue and frustration. That wasn't so bad, but what I said with my big mouth after that proved that I had really put my Foot In It . . . . . . . . .

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