Jan. 29, 2002 - 20:39 MST

THE WONDERING JEW

CHANGE

So if this alien from outer space would offer to change anything relating to myself, what would I ask for ?

Not a time reversal, that's for sure, I have already, "Been there, done that." My time has been spent doing the best I can, you know, served my time and have the seniority to keep going.

Oh certainly a new spine and the things that go with it, a better or completely overhauled ticker would be nice. But thinking about that, just how much of something should I ask for ? A new spine would not make my heart better nor would a new heart improve my spine and if those were put into number one shape what would keep me bopping around and immune to the ailments that can crop up in old folk ?

A thought that has been a subject of discussion between me and some of my friends, the extension of life. Would I take a pill that would guarantee me 500 years of life ? If that is all that pill could do for me, no way Jose !

Now if it were in the realm of possibility that I could nail this alien down and have him/she/it follow my "Exception list," then maybe okay. First it would have to be vibrant, healthy life until death. Next would be Heather in the same condition. Whoops, now wouldn't that be a whizzer ? I can't imagine any woman who could put up with a man for 500 years. Why continue the list from there ? That would give us a chance to watch the great-great-great - on and on - grandchildren and to see each set mature and have their progeny. Now I think I could go for that in a large way.

But then a set of relatives that would put up with an anomalous relative hanging around in the way for that many years ? I wonder, what new things I could think of to do to keep my mind lively ? The same old stuff for that many years would verge on ennui plus I think.

How many years would I have to work before I retire ? About three quarters of 500 years somewhere around 375 years going on the norm now. So, my brain would have to be altered a bunch to be able to escape boredom for about 300 years of that while for the last 75 years I could enjoy planning and looking forward to retirement.

Up the pain threshold ? The body as it stands could suffer mortal injury if the threshold was upped.

Even if my ability to be diplomatic, gracious, caring and loving could be multiplied by 1,000, would that keep me on an even keel with other folks ? Would my mind cope with something like that ?

A little tinkering to make life a bit easier and more comfortable as I go would be nice. But that would be such a small amount that it could be considered no Change . . . . . . .

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