Jan. 24, 2002 - 20:41 MST

THE WONDERING JEW

What If ?

All the banners and trashy spam keep telling me that I can buy natural Viagra, marajuana like herb stuff, twelve inch penises offered by many establishments, pay off my mortgages and make fortunes by the bundle just by spending a little time at my keyboard. Yeah, riiiight ! ! !

And the mailbox where we live is full of the pre-approved Credit card scams 0 % interest (until the 22 % kicks in). I think my mail box would be empty a good part of the time without the junk mail. The bad thing about paper mail (snail mail) dammit is having to cut up all the personal information off each sheet that it is shown - to prevent identity theft. I can't shred all the stuff -- there aren't enough dumpsters around here to hold all that shredded paper.

Every person employed to do all this stuff is gainfully employed to send this stuff out. They do honest work. I know that.

For a long time with snail mail I have been just taking all the paper from an offer and sending it back in their postpaid envelope (after my personal identity has been cut out). More work for the post office might keep our postal rates down ? ? ?

Now if I could just hang some long distance charges on the companies who pay people to call me on the phone who won't take no for an answer, maybe things would quiet down a bit. One thing I do, if I have time to spare, is to string the whole process out as long as possible before I back out and say, "No, I just can't afford that right now."

Some how I have dreams living in a rose covered cottage of ours with a picket fence of 12 inch penises, and sitting back knowing the credit card companies are paying my stuff off -- to each other. But - - - - then some damn fool will drive me crazy trying to sell me aluminum siding for the little haven we occupy.

Could it be done ? Now let's think a bit, What If ? . . . . . . . .

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