Jan. 12, 2002 - 19:10 MST

THE WONDERING JEW

Here I Come

Mildly frustrated because I woke up grinning but couldn't remember what funny thing I was dreaming about. The sun was out and the coffee ready the family was gathering around the table and we had a visiting breakfast.

Then the women bugged off to Boulder and Walmart, son-in-law was on his laptop at the dining room table and the two grand kids were watching Saturday morning TV, while I was in my room trying to catch up on e-mail and trying to make sense of my offhand filing system. Did get 01's stuff filed to make room for the new years accumulation.

I was still in a happy mood, if it wasn't roses it was something so similar that I couldn't smell the difference and everything looked good. Thinking, naah it won't last, but my ears remained the brakes to my smileys. Later we took the kids over to the swimming pool to swim and we watched them have fun in between our reading.

Our grandson is pre-teen and reminds me so much of the way I was then. He will be so utterly full of life and beans for hours on end. Then it is as if he has corks in each big toe and I can see the level of his energy go rapidly down. He hits the couch completely exhausted and usually naps, not because someone told him to, other than his own body. After a respite he is up raring to go and bugging his sister or something to let off the head of steam he built up napping. I know, I was a yo-yo, my mind and psyche bouncing off the walls, trying to locate where I should be and what stage I should be in. Then the fit hit the shan, and voila ! every spare moment it was girls. I actually started combing my hair and carrying a comb to use during the school day, discovered Old Spice shaving lotion. I still get dreamy eyed when I smell that stuff. I took lessons from the girls on becoming a civilized person, learning slowly, but learning never the less.

Looking back through a reversed telescope now at those years and thinking about it I realize that every minute of it was enjoyed by me, interspersed with the no energy spells but hormone driven when active. Imagine a Slinky going down a long flight of stairs and at the bottom lighting in an elevator and being taken back up topside to repeat the activity. Over and over until instead of lighting in the elevator -- the elevator is gone and the elevator pit catches Slinky Doug. That thud you heard was me hitting bottom way back in the ago.

It was deeply interesting, everything was that way and my soul bubbled with the joy of life. But, I have been through that school and wouldn't go back. Wouldn't want to face the uncertainty that I faced then. But for the day today it was like then for me just watching grandson kicking his heels up like a frisky colt. Hoo boy, euphoria Here I Come . . . . . .

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