Jan. 09, 2002 - 20:02 MST

THE WONDERING JEW

Ugh

I seem to have a fault, well more than one of course. The one in particular I am thinking about now while my cotton ball filled skull is attempting to think a bit, is my stupid way of thinking, "I'll surely be better tomorrow," until all of a sudden it dawns on me that once again I will not feel better but terribly worse.

I feel so stupid when the doctor after the usual poke and pry I now have to admit to a doctor how long I have been feeling bad. To see their head shake and have the question once again asked me, "Why didn't you come in sooner ?" And the dumb klutz answer, "I felt too bad to come in, and usually things turn themselves around before long."

One good thing, I did sleep last night and most of today, and figure on sleeping more soon. Other than that I don't see that I am a bit better today, but I must be, I made a complete sentence back there somewhere.

I feel guilty saying, "I hurt," when other folk are in such grave pain. I do have to admit though that the ability to shrug off minor things is getting more difficult as the years pass. Also, things that used to be minor do have a facility of complicating into something more or less major.

Enough of the train wreck for tonight . . . .

I am sure the world is still turning in its usual mess although I have been totally out of it and didn't read the paper or watch the news on TV today and probably won't watch the ten o'clock news tonight either. Remarkable how a certain amount of discomfort gives me the feeling that, "I feel too bad to pay attention to much of anything. But that's how it is with me tonight

Ugh

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