Nov. 26, 2001 - 18:37 MST

THE WONDERING JEW

Veteran Of The 60's

Diagnosis, physical or mental is not precisely cut and dried, an all black or all white thing. Far into the future the diagnosis can be seen to be doubtful or wrong.

There was this girl, a bright, spirited girl who learned things early and easily. Pleasant and fun loving she was and generous also.

It was before seat restraints for cars were in use. She was about three years old when she was in a car broadsided by another car. She was the most seriously hurt of her family in the car. She had two skull fractures and complications as well. After about a week her father was discharged to go home and she was still in hospital, conscious and aware then.

As she recovered she was given all the neurological tests used to determine if there was any problem. Nothing to the negative was discovered. Her final visit was as an outpatient to her doctors and all the tests were run once again, she was then discharged from their care. The doctors said she was allright but would not rule out the possibility of future problems and could not offer any preventitive actions for her parents to take.

(In 1997 I found out that the bones of the cranium do not knit as other bones do, I then realized the guarded diagnosis of the doctors back then).

She seemed to make a good recovery both mentally and physically. About the time she started school she became very selfish and demanding, the Lion's share had to be hers. There had been no family stress that might have brought it on. At Christmas she just had to have more and better presents than her brothers and sister. Her sister and youngest brother were afraid of her because of her treatment of them if she didn't get her way.

She did well in school but she was a difficult person to deal with through those years.

It was the 1960's while she was in high school, no one knows what, but it has been suspected that she was introduced to hallucinogenic drugs at that period of her life. She also had a very possessive sweetheart through high school who kept her on the phone when she wasn't in his sight and pretty well dictated what she did when not under the control of her parents. She broke it off with him before she graduated high school. Shortly after she graduated high school she told her parents off and moved into an apartment with some other girls and went to work.

Things are a bit cloudy then -- nothing has been said by anyone, but apparently she became pregnant while going with one guy who dumped her when he found out she was carrying a baby. Another fellow fell for her and they got married. Unfortunately he was also of the dictatorial type too. They moved out of state to live in an apartment in her husband's parent's home. She underwent psychological abuse at his hands when it seems he found out she was already pregnant when they married. From what was known the abuse steepened.

They came to town for Thanksgiving one year, he went off with his buddies, hunting or whatever and she stayed with her family. The plan was for him to return in time to have Thanksgiving dinner with her family at her grandmother's house. Which he did and had dinner with her there.

After dinner he urged her to leave early with him and they left. He took her to her parents house. When they got there he told her he was driving back home, alone. She of course was devastated as she thought that they had come to peace and acceptance before leaving for her home town.

As her husband was on his way home her father called his father and relayed what had happened. When the husband arrived home his dad confronted him. His dad then roughed him up. The next day the man's father called her folks and assured them that his son would straighten up and treat her right if she would come back there. On reaching agreement he sent his son back to pick her up and bring her home. She went with him and things seemed to run okay but in privacy he abused her all the more psychologically when they were not under his parents eyes. She attempted suicide and was taken to hospital, no drastic physical or mental involvement was evidenced and a few days later she was discharged.

She came back to her parents home, carried her baby to term, less than three months the infant girl died a crib death while an aunt was taking care of her for a night.

She then went to work in a downtown department store and continued living with her parents. She began acting in a paranoid manner which grew worse by the day. She began to think she was being spied on, came home and tore wiring from light fixtures and ripped the telephone cord out. As she continued to grow worse a decision was made by her mother and father.

After taking her to a psychiatrist her father took her to a judge who approved of her commitment to a mental health facility. Her dad made a heartbreaking trip of about thirty miles to take her to that facility. She underwent ECT therapy and a course of drugs that left her with mild tardive dyskinesia and much counselling.

Her high school sweetheart heard that she was in the facility and began visiting her there. He visited her frequently and spent as much time with her as he could. She was finally released, to report periodically to a tri-county therapist. There was rapport between she and her therapist which deepened as her visits went on. She and her sweetheart got married and set up housekeeping near their parents. Her mother and father visited her on the weekend and some times while her husband was at work.

Things seemed to be going smoothly until her therapist left to go into a different field. That seemed to put her in a downward course, almost as if a member of her family had died.

One day her husband frantically called her parents and told them she had shot herself. The scream of sirens echoed in the neighborhood as she was taken off to hospital. Her husband said later that he had hidden his gun in a place he felt was safe from her discovery.

After a great amount of time he sued for divorce because it was apparent she would never be able to keep house again. She spent years ricocheting from one nursing home to another until finally she was taken in by a brain injury association and a place in an assisted living home was found for her. She is quite happy there but cannot talk and shambles a bit, she gets along well with the other residents. She helps and keeps her room up and is happy to see her folks when they come every week and take her out for a while. She has distanced herself from life and won't let anything affect her too much. Once when she heard her mother was in hospital, she cried very briefly and then became interested in something else.

Her dad will sit occasionally and wonder what happened to his daughter. Was it one thing ? Or maybe a combination of everything that happened or was it something that would have happened even if no untoward thing had happened to her?

I guess that she is a Veteran Of The 60's . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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