Nov. 08, 2001 - 20:40 MST

THE WONDERING JEW

Keystone Komedy

We'll laugh when it stops hurtin'.

This getting ready to take a trip is a hummer. I guess it would be a comedy for sure for someone to film us as we proceed through the last week. Only trouble is that he/she would probably get trampled and the camera broken by the action when Heather and I rapidly reverse action as we change our minds.

It goes pretty well until a day or two before departure then the action becomes frenetic. We reach a point where we sit down and compare our lists to see what neither one has listed. Then the pain of routing and scheduling is attempted. Can't pack all the clothes until the last bit of laundry is done, yadda, yadda.

Sometimes the preceding routine has been known to work.

Whatever is not on one of our lists is taken care of on the fly as the time nears. In the last hours before heading to the airport the final trip is made to the Soopermarket, Walgreens and 7-11. Before the luggage is locked it is checked to make sure that all the bayonets and brass knuckles are shucked out of there and also eliminating the dangerous stuff like tweezers and nail files. (Something new for me -- I usually carry a four point screwdriver, my best Jackknife, needle nose pliers and diagonal wire cutter pliers in the luggage I check through -- but this time a no no.)

Normaly we used to always get to the airport in plenty of time to be at the gate one hour ahead of time. This time we will make sure to be at our gate two hours pre-boarding. Heather has already made arrangements for a wheel chair for me from the curb through check in and to our gate. Ticks me off no end, but it is a necessary thing now.

We usually board the aircraft frizzed to a frazzle, wondering what highly important thing did we forget to pack or do.

It just doesn't seem to be a complete trip unless we feel that maybe we haven't done our duty unless we are almost in a state of battle fatigue. I worry, I worry about Heather and vice versa. It reminds me of the first time I went off a diving board into the pool, that desperate effort to get to the top before the worst happened was about like the state I get in.

When we arrive, get to daughter's house, eat, play with the kids and visit awhile, Heather and I go in and unpack our unsuprise packages and find out what we forgot. When we went to Tampa earlier this year I had no Jockey shorts. Heather thought I packed them and t'other way round. So Heather and her friend made a trip to the nearest mall to get a set. Now, I knew where the mall was and about how long a round trip would take. Add a half hour for finding said Jockeys, paying for them etc. I think the ladies did a bunch of shopping while there. I made out like a burglar though, I rested, read and ended up with 6 new Jockeys. We just had to find a place to put them in crammed full luggage when we packed to go home.

Today was about a two on a scale of ten. We started out and went to a credit union, and when there realized that we should have gone to the bank. While arriving at that astounding conclusion it was remembered that something which was going to be taken to Costco to exchange had been forgotten. From there back to the apartment then to pick that up and onward and upward we went. Went to the other credit union and dropped the damn capsule on the cement which proceeded to roll under the car. I was glad to have my cane to retrieve that elusive thing. To Costco, to Costco to gas up and get a couple of things. Day over ? Nuh uh, had to stop at a restaurant on the way to eat dinner, and then by our post office to mail off payments for bills. Then on arriving home, snagging a buggy I loaded my oxy bottle & cart plus the stuff purchased at Costco and trek upstairs. The peaceful end of a perfect day - - - yeah it was. There was not a harsh word from either of us.

But if one were to watch us go like scurrying spiders being chased by a mad giant they would probably class us as a Keystone Komedy . . . . . .

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