   Contact Kelli, temporary manager of Doug's "The Wondering Jew" |
21 September, 2001 - 20:30 MDT THE WONDERING JEW Thud I am not atomic, no nuclear melt down here all over the floor or elsewhere. But it was its equivalent to me last night. Facing the facts that I knew, which God knows were little enough - just enough to know that we better take a paddle with us where we are going. During World War Two, even though I spent it working for the railroad -- I worked, hard. I gave blood as often as they would let me. I contributed to help buy cases of cigarettes to the men overseas, later on to hear that the GI's had to pay for them. Anyway, we rooted for the free world, collected aluminum and other metals, bought bonds and coped with rationing, essentially doing what needed to be done. Last night the facts crashed down on me, I am old, crippled, retired, and more or less making do with what I have. I already contributed my widower's mite, Heather and I both. There is so little I can do -- and most of that is already done. I have read some very intelligent things from people in whose opinions I value, their information frustrates me even more. Today, waking up in a mood that gradually brightened, I finally realized that the best I can do is just stay out of the way, and live life to the fullest and most enjoyable level that I can, interact appropriately with friends and family and only rant when I know for sure what I am talking about (hard for me to do) ! Sitting back, chewing coffee, holding my head up as if I had some kind of idea of what it is all about and acutally thinking, I finally realized all of my limitations and determined to live it out and have all the fun I can. Not to belittle those who have to serve, that is not the point. Maybe I can feel better knowing that living life to the fullest and being with family is doing something for them that they can't do with their loved ones. Sort of trying to keep the home fires burning bright far, far into the night and noting that we are still here, strong at first light. Defiantly keeping things as near normal as can be. But in the fatigue last night, I came down, Thud . . . . . . 0 comments so far
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