19 September, 2001 - 22:56 MDT

THE WONDERING JEW

Is Me

Funny in a way that I go along doing what I think is necessary and the thing to do, without much meditation, just going on with life.

We have been doing what little we could for Heather's brother. He has been on a pacemaker for years, also is diabetic, he recently lost his wonderful wife, the one and only he brought home from California when he was turned loose by the Navy in the 40's. Bad enough, but soon he was in hospital with pneumonia.

He came home from hospital and after about a week his kids had to return to their jobs, etc. His daughter comes down from Wyoming as often as she can and his son comes by once a week to do things for his Dad. Heather and I have been going to visit him about twice a week. A grandson who works nearby, who is single came to live with him. But one morning after the grandson left for work Heather's brother gave us a call for help. My oldest son was home, Heather was out with our car, and son went over picked up his uncle and took him to hospital.

He was in for about a week while all kinds of diagnostic tests were run. The profession finally did an angioplasty and installed a stent in the right aortic artery (think terminology is right). That was yesterday, today at noon we picked him up at hospital on his release and took him home. Heather went through all kinds of nip ups getting someone to put his house key in a hiding spot, notifying his son, etc.

On the way home we stopped at his grocery store, turned in his prescription and sat and waited for it to be filled while Heather shopped for groceries for him. She took us to his house, fed us and then took off to finish what she had been doing at home before we knew what would transpire today.

He and I are the same age, and both of us have some disabilities, are a bit weak and shaky, both of us on oxygen.

He and I had several hours today to visit. He told me that his wife had handled all the bills, bank account and all other family matters. She did this even after he retired, kept track of all the addresses and phone numbers, basically he did the outside work and she did the rest.

As we talked, gradually I was putting myself in his shoes, in my mind. Heather has pretty well done the same for me all these years, she knows where everything is, she keeps track of family papers, addresses and phone numbers, etc.

Although I can do laundry and cook a bit, run errands and all -- still she runs the machinery and points us in the right direction.

We have all lived full lives, have family younger than us and are seeing our older relatives dying off. Still the difficulties we face as we grow older and feebler loom large in my eyes. Not that I would ever give up, but am taking a deep breath, cinching up my belt and trying to organize things so that either one of us could take over completely when and if necessary. Heather ran the whole show while I was recovering from the auto accident for over a year. So she is proficient, I am not so sure about me.

Anyhow, as he and I visited this afternoon and evening, I seemed to be looking in a mirror and the man I see Is Me . . . . .

Blog