August 25, 2001 - 21:18 MDT

THE WONDERING JEW

Crazy Crystal Ball

Woolgathering seems to be a term used to denote my preoccupation (another term for lack of attention), anyway my mind is doing its thing tonight. Eerie like weird science fiction or psycho stuff.

Over supper tonight Heather and I were conversing about something and a sudden shift occurred and I am looking across the table at the four year old girl who later became my wife. I fell in love with her at that age from a family picture of her with her siblings. Shift again and not missing a word, I am looking at the young girl, just out of high school who I had the good fortune to meet, woo and marry some number of years ago. Then the scene shifted and I saw her as she was right after each of our five children were born, and also the carrier of the child laden stomach. More flashbacks and looking straight at her and not missing a word of whatever we were talking about I saw her as she was in her times of illness. Somewhere I saw this lady in her wedding gown and again that same night, up in the mountains in the cabin, she appeared to me as the shy, embarrassed young lady trying to figure out how to change into her nightdress. There were many more pictures in my mental slide show, and then a shift to the lady, here, now, in the flesh.

Shining through that beautiful, senior face were all the persons she was through her growth. The beauty and innocence of a little girl, the sparkling skate dancer on her magic roller skates, the lady who accepted me for who I was then. The partner at different stages of our married life and the Grandmother and Great Grandmother she has gracefully grown to be. The true helpmeet, the kind and nurturing woman, the super hardworking Mother and wife.

Her face to me was as a superfast slide show, cycling in front of my eyes. She would say something and I would see, all rolled into one the person who I think she always has been at all the different stages of her life.

Bemused, enchanted, happy and wondering what something, someone had put into my food -- hoping that this wondrous thing would last me for all time.

After supper and later tea I sat in my easy chair in my mind's eye I saw each of our children rapidly moving from birth to parenthood and in two cases grand parenthood. I saw again the love and happiness living in them from their first awareness to the present day. I saw all their offspring the same way from babyhood to adulthood and parenthood.

It was as if someone was riffling the pages of a superfine family album in front of me.

Shifting and changing just as rapidly came the memories cascading into and flooding my mind. All of their firsts, their birthday joys, their weddings flickered through my mind. I passed through the living room just now where Heather is watching TV, by golly, all of her are there, shining out of one body and face.

I wonder how long this will last and if there are any unfavorable side effects ? Hasn't seemed to affect my ability to move around the apartment and don't expect it to affect my driving either. Will I eventually be put into the funny farm ? Naw, they won't let me in there. They will figure that I would drive the residents mad.

But what a grand and glorious evening this has been, my memories have come alive in front of my eyes. I want to keep looking into that Crazy Crystal Ball . . . . . .

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