2001-08-08 - 20:09 MDT

THE WONDERING JEW

Adjustments

Thinking tonight of my course of life so far. As for each person my process of learning to adjust is a difficult process which didn't really allow for much deviation, at least in my case the road has been pretty narrow.

A little after the time I started school, I think it was the adjustment to being miserable with either hay fever or a cold and still getting a little enjoyment out of life. I lost a year from school because of St. Vitus Dance entire fourth grade. Had to adjust going to the doctor frequently for desensitization shots, seeing my chance for sports requiring endurance and lung power going out the door even before I knew which sport I would have gone in for. Books were my savior, which was something I could do with my mind, a means to fly through the air of romance and adventure while rubbing itchy eyes and dabbing at a runny nose.

The shots were doing some good for me and I got a paper route, hurt my back and spent the next couple of months wrapped in moleskin from tocus to just under the shoulders. It helped a bit I guess, and I continued my life as actively as I could. Periodically my foot would slip on that damned ball bearing gravel and my back would go out of me. Over the years I spent many nights on a comforter on the floor, sometimes a week at a time.

I managed to do work which I am sure didn't help my back in the long run but I think did help keep muscle tone to an extent that my back didn't give too much trouble. But over the years the periods that my back gave me trouble came oftener and lasted longer and were painful. So each period of time I would have to adjust my life to cater to a funny back. By the time I became eligible for health care at a HMO it was determined that I had degenerative spinal arthritis and a back operation was out of the question.

I retrained under state rehabilitation at age 55 for work that wouldn't involve my back and got a job with back exemption from any heavy work that came up. The readjustments through those times were frequent and unsettling for an old guy starting on a new career. Over the years my use of over the counter pain relief increased going into bottles of aspirin - about one a week or more. When I finally got into an HMO I was able to get off aspirin and get started on prescription pain relievers, each increase in pain caused an increase in the use of pain relievers. Which ended in about 1993 with a trip to the hospital and being taken off the NSAID over the counter medication, ( NSAID = Non steroidal anti inflammatory drug ) also all prescription pain relief.

So from then on it has been more or less a bite the bullet process, increasing my exercise to strengthen back muscles and, "float" the vertebrae apart, along with the judicious use of Tylenol only when the pain becomes overpowering. More adjustments at each step.

Along the way in 1986 I became an alcoholic in recovery which was one hell of an adjustment.

In September it will be four years since my neck was broken in an auto accident, three years since my physical therapist discharged me from her care with the instructions to keep up my exercising which I have. One major adjustment was made for me while in hospital, as I was doped up for quite awhile I underwent the chemical withdrawal from nicotine. All in all, that period was a major readjustment.

Not too long after that after a winter of coughing, something I just couldn't get rid of, I began to ail, it got to the point that I couldn't hardly make it from my chair to our apartment door without being on the verge of collapse. Having been on a drug for arrythmia since about 1978 I wasn't surprised to find out that my mainspring was in need of rewinding - which can't happen of course. There were various medical procedures done, none of them surgical but did include stopping my heart in the hopes of it going into the normal, what do they call it ? Sinus rhythm I think. Twice for that and the ticker started doing better and another new prescription drug has kept it in an okay beat and pressure. So various adjustments and readjustments were made through this time.

Recently on my scheduled checkup with the cardiologist I told him that although I had no difficulty breathing in and out, that I didn't seem to be getting the benifit breathing used to bring me. I was told that I was COPD when my heart did the funny quivering and had the beginnings emphysema more than a year ago. After all the thumping, poking and various diagnostic equipment was used it was found my blood oxygen was low. Lung function test, then. Some time after that visit, my bloods showed that I was not suffering toxicity from my heart medication, the cardiologist staff told me that my PCP would do the paperwork and arrange for oxygen for me. In about a week or less I will become one of the bottle toters, and I don't mean bootlegger.

It would be easy I guess to have a big spell of self pity over my condition, but I see no point in that. That would interfere with me enjoying life to the extent I still can and knowing the condition of many people around me, it is clearly shown that I am among the very lucky people of the world. The old bit, "There but for the grace of God go I," is so very true. So many people are so much worse off than I am, and here I am bopping around praying for them, because they need the help of prayer so much more than I do.

So I am in the process of finding out the supplier of oxygen in Eugene, Oregon and one in Sacremento as my PCP said it was okay to rent the larger tank at destination to refill my portable one. She also told me that Apria is pretty well nationwide and probably is in Eugene where our daughter is and Sacramento where I intend to go to a super wedding of great friends (I adopted them and vice versa) about a year from now. Next on the agenda is to find out the cost for the rental of the large tank per week and if my HMO will pay. If not my piggy bank will gradually accumulate the price of rental. The portable will last the flight and refill capacity will be available at the other end. I will only be a bit more hampered than usual. My physical condition will have to be a heck of a lot worse before I will let things get to the point that I can't visit around. Our trips out from town will be timed to the capacity of the portable tank.

Heather and I go on walks and do the best we can each time, I still do exercises, for the left arm and my neck. As well as doing the range of motion things.

Thinking about it tonight tends to make me realize that life is many different Adjustments . . . . . .

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