2000-03-05 - 01:31:02

The adage that only a fool is positive is intrusive to the flow of my thought. It makes me ask myself, "Are you sure ?"

Now, even in conversation at home I am learning to say, "I think, It appears to me or It seems as if." Bad habits do not break easily and old habits try to reestablish themselves. Seems a bit old for good sense to come to my mind, but there it is better late than later.

I am becoming accustomed to listening to a rebuttal and giving it serious thought. And trying to answer in a civilized, reasoned manner. Sometimes smiling :-) as I speak.

One thought has arrived in my addled brain lately is the subject of arrogance. As a young child before I knew the word or its definition I deeply and rebelliously resented arrogance being shoved down my throat.

The, "I know it all, and I am far better than you are," seems to be one thing common to all the - "Special interest" groups. Not a cry for equality but an attempt to push others down into the mud by riding atop their shoulders !

My question, "where and from what did those arrogant jerks come from ?" They claim higher intelligence than the rest of us peons yet their actions are grievous absolute insults to the rest of us - - - I think.

There are two stories concerning a man and Jesus retracing their previously traveled path, in one the man remarks to Jesus, "There was a long space where my foot prints disappeared and later reappeared, why was that ?" and Jesus said, "That is where i carried you my son." The other tells a somewhat similar story. Jesus and the man were retracing the steps they had made in the journey and the man was remarking that his first steps in accompanying Jesus resembled a penned up puppies, zig-zag, hither and yon trail, and how further in the walk the man's foot prints got closer to the ones Jesus made, and finally very close until they were exactly in the center of Jesus' footprints, a little further on the man's prints went into another set of crazy actions, circling, going to and fro, retracing previous moves.

The man said to Jesus, "At the start of our walk together my steps went in the same general direction but were uncontrolled, guess I was wandering any which way." Jesus nodded. The man said, "later on my tracks came closer to yours until they paralleled yours exactly, showing that I was walking your way." Jesus nodded. The man then said, "Further along my foot prints were inside of yours, did that mean I was in your walk as you walk ?" Jesus nodded. and then with a puzzled look on his face he asked Jesus, "but here, it looks as if I became a wild man doing senseless things, why was that?

Jesus smiled and said, "Didn't you know that is where we danced?

I am not a preacher and never will be. Those thoughts keep running through my mind. Until, stress intrudes and pushes them out. And then I realize I make grief and trouble for myself as well as others. I'm not only not a preacher but just a human trying to live life as I should and not being successful all the time.

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