2001-06-30 - 18:09 MDT

THE WONDERING JEW

Sundays At Mom's

When I had dated Heather long enough for her to really introduce me to all her family at the weekly "Sunday at Mom's" I saw a family which in my eyes, membership was highly desired. There was no fancy-dancy stuff, no airs put on and no one had to prove a damn thing. Just gather round, eat and visit the afternoon away.

Sometimes Rummy was played, or Chinese Checkers. A new car to be looked over (wartime a new car was one that someone had just bought, regardless of its vintage) and admired.

So in essence, when Heather and I got married, Bastion also had the lagniappe of a whole family of brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, mom and pop and the people attached to them. I was welcomed with no fanfare, just treated as one of the family.

I worked a good many Sundays and a lot of them were hours that precluded my attendance. Heather would ride the Tramway system over and back, sometimes bringing me a goodie home from there, and giving me the news of family.

I loved going there on Sunday, there was no roll taken or bad feelings if a person or persons weren't there. We all usually knew why one or another didn't attend, off fishing or out of town for some reason or another. Going to Mom's for Sunday dinner and a visit is something we all wanted to do and Heather's Mom gloried in being surrounded by family.

The men, most of us did some kind of shift work, some would come early and leave early and go to work -- some come late from work and leave late for home some might be out of town. Mom always saw that people were fed regardless of when they showed up.

Heather's older sister had a baby boy, at the trike riding stage, but as the years went on we each made our contributions to the population explosion. Sundays at Mom's allowed frequent bonding of cousins and ensuing playtime. The consequent bonding among cousins has been long lasting through the years.

It was never an atmosphere of being obligated to go, it was a pleasure for all of us to be there.

When they grew up and spread out a bit, the cousins produced offspring who were brought around to Mom's on Sundays, often the only time cousins had to visit.

As Heather's Mom grew older the ladies of the family began to bring dishes from their home, their cooked specialties, etc. and Mom would cook the meat. The ladies would set the table, help in the kitchen and clean up the table, wash the dishes and put them away.

Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas were glorious occasions of joyous feasting and hilarious visiting and joshing. On Christmas each kid was allowed to bring one present from home, which was often left with each Mom while the kiddies eagerly ripped the wrapping paper off the presents from Grandma and Grandpa. Heather's Mom, the very practical soul she was, always saw that the men were dressed warmly, I wore out a succession of nice, lined denim jackets that she gave me. The women all got things they needed. None of it fabulous, but practical and much appreciated.

Heather's Dad built a cover over the walk by the back porch, wide enough a group of outdoor chairs could be accomodated. Often we would sit feeling a nice breeze through there, visit back and forth and watch the kids do their thing.

Father-in-law could do almost anything, his garage was full of self made machines, drill press etc. He was always making things for the family. The chest of drawers for our first born was made by him from scrap lumber he had been accumulating. A plain, practical, utilitarian thing it was. Most of his grandchildren acquired the desire and knack of working with their hands, and making do with what they had.

Sundays at Mom's was a one of a kind thing. When Heather's Mom died, there were no more Sundays at Mom's. Father-in-law soon went to a nursing home, and each of the kid's kids went their own way building their own lives.

Occasionally all the living relatives will get together for an occasion, it is special and the visiting is great fun. We all are still close to each other, as close as we can be. Most of us are retired, Heather's oldest Sister and her husband are in an assisted living facility up in the foothills. Heather and I or Heather and a friend of the sister will go every week to see them.

Heather's Mom would never take sides in anything and would encourage a passing around of the peace pipe, usually with fairly good results. No grudges built up, things resolved fairly quickly to the satisfaction of all. Great credit to Heather's Mom for enabling every one to retain their self esteem, I guess those are the current words for it.

A living angel she was, selfless and giving of herself and her time and energy. Often there would be a dress or shirt hand made on her sewing machine for one or another of the grandkids and happily bestowed upon a jigging, giggling grandchild who was thrilled to get something that Grandma made just for them.

Much of what our kids and grandkids are today was learned from those occasions.

It was truly a far different time than it is now, which is infinitely speeded up with no time for anything real. Those occasions are sorely missed by us all.

We do have our fond memories though of Sunday At Mom's . . . . . .

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