Jan. 22, 2007 - 20:17 MST

BEEN KNOWN TO WORK

Betsy Hart of The Scripps Howard News Service does come up with some good, common sense things to try. Many of them have been around for awhile, and their failure to work in many cases I think, is due to the inclination to "do the darn job itself" rather than cope with the kids."

Her article which appeared in The Rocky Mountain News of today is a plan that can be made to work, if the parental spirit is strong. Quoted in full:

JOB CHART FOR KIDS IS GOOD FOR THEM . . . AND MOM

"When my family and I visited a friend at her home last summer, I marveled at the "job chart" she posted each morning for her five children. Even the youngest at age 7, had a number of chores assigned. For the most part, it seemed they did them diligently and without too much complaining. Maybe they just knew they would lose an argument with their parents anyway."

"Hmmmmm, would a job chart work in my house, I wondered ? Sure, my kids were asked to empty the dishwasher, take out the garbage, pick-up after themselves (sort of). "

"But real jobs ? Didn't I have to do all that or hire someone to do it ? How could I ask my four little darlings to do the kinds of chores I did as a child: scrub floors and bathrooms shovel a long driveway, cut the grass with a manual mower. Clearly these things had profoundly burdened me as a human being and I couldn't dare ask my own precious little ones to do such work. The fact that I have rather fond memories of feeling -- well, useful -- as a child and took some pleasure in a job well done, and through it all, still liked my parents . . . that must have been brainwashing later imposed."

"Then I thought, "Wait a minute, I wrote a book on parenting. My kids are already burdened. I may as well add the chores !" So a few months ago I had a "family meeting" with the kids, age 12, 10, 7 and 5, and introduced the job chart, which now shows up about twice a week."

"Notice I didn't write about this at its inauguration. It's kind of like a diet; if it bombs, you don't want anyone to know about your failure. but so far, so good. There were arguments at first and there were shoddily done jobs that had to be done over and over."

"For a while, it took me more time to supervise than it would have to do the work myself."

"Flash forward a few months, and I marvel as the kids gather around the job chart -- which they now brag about to their friends -- sometimes even horse-trading their jobs. What do you know ? Rather than waste time fighting with me, they've for the most part figured out it's easier to just get to work."

"Emptying the dishwasher and garbage is still there, But now there's more responsibility for cleaning the basement and bathrooms, vacuuming, laundry, dusting, some yard work and more. It turns out that even a 5-year-old can put a fitted sheet on a bed and straighten up the coat-room "cubbies." Who knew ? Sure, I still find myself doing a certain amount of "finishing" work, and I continue to have my own jobs, too. but everything seems a little tidier now."

"The kids aren't quite as likely to throw clean clothes in a hamper just to get them off the floor. And occasionally I'll overhear one child, anticipating clean-up duty, say to another,"Pick that up now !"

"Here's what I have found makes this work for my kids; Letting them value a job done well, or as well done as they can do it, and appreciating working togther for a common good. Making clear to them that not having to hire the occasional cleaning service, or doing so only rarely, means there is extra spending money for allowances or a Saturday matinee for the family."

" It also means mom is just . . . . less stressed. And, boy, is there grace in that !"

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After the fact and all these years, it is too late for us to set up a job chart for our kids.

Betsy Hart has always seemed to me to be a lady of good will as well as having enough good humor to make her kids easy in their minds. But whether it truly works out that way at her house, she presents a frame-work that is entirely possible in most any family, I think, providing the parents are good humored and patient.

We didn't have a job chart for our kids and things worked out in their own way, not as good of course, as it would have if we had used an organized job chart, but pretty well. Would have saved us time and trouble to sit down and come up with a job chart. An after all isn't a "job description," pretty well a chore sheet for the working person ? These things have BEEN KNOWN TO WORK . . . . . . . . . . .

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