May. 09, 2006 - 21:09 MDT

THE REAL BILL

Being an only child and having few cousins, books became my companions. I was a latch-key kid before the term became "popular," and trying to keep it secret that neither my Mom or my Dad was home when I came in from school.

It soon became known among the neighbors that there was a lone stranger in their midst and became an object of suspicion for most any annoying thing that happened in the neighborhood -- and those who I wished were my friends often would capatilize on the fact that there was no one riding herd on me and would shift blame onto my shoulders.

But as I have said before, I had an imaginary big brother, Big Bill (and I was of course Little Bill) full fledged, older and with a hell of a lot more sense and understanding of life than I did. How he came by that is yet a mystery to me. But he kept me out of trouble, kept me amused, we conversed deeply and often about anything my curiosity led me to ask about.

There came a time when the hormones were a rising tide and source of my confused thoughts that Big Bill could not come up with answers about that forbidden three letter word and all that pertained thereto.

As I began to take an interest in those "cootie" ridden girls, Big Bill and I began to lose touch with each other little by little, and when I was deep in grief due to being dropped by a girl and sought him, all I heard was echoes.

Fast forward a bunch of years, many of them in fact.

Our middle daughter's second husband is a prince of a fellow, a man's man adored by the womenfolk too. I couldn't have picked out a better man myself for her to team up with.

Over the course of time I became friendly with his father, about five years younger than I. His name is Bill. But like Big Bill, he is no longer with us. Through him I learned a lot about many different things that I had not come across. He painted in oils, he knitted and did many other crafts that were not in my expertise. And like with me and Big Bill, the real Bill and I conversed about most everything with deep enjoyment on my part and he seemed to like it too.

When the family gathered Bill and I would be seated side by side, surrounded by a shield of silence by the family so that we could hear what each other said.

Of course like all human beings, Bill had his health problems, which led to a triple bypass on his heart and his necessary use of oxygen thereafter. A bit further along the line Bill's wife died after a long illness and hospice care.

After his wife died his health seemed to worsen, but he kept going anyhow.

Recently he began to have respiratory problems, doctors thought it was pneumonia of some kind or another. I'm not sure exactly what the scoop was as I was not close enough family to hear what the doctors had to say. He would be in hospital a while and then to rehab, then back into hospital, a human yo-yo it seemed.

A few days ago the doctors told his nearest and dearest that Bills organs were beginning to shut down. Bill wanted to be home for his last days and so he went home and after a time passed away, his son at his side and his two grandson's there also.

So passed a man who I thought of as "Little Big Bill" has left this earth.

I went to the viewing today and we will attend his funeral Friday.

Heather and I hope to see more of his son now and draw closer to him. He and our daughter went up on Lookout Mountain today to visit her daughter and family. They are all close. The daughter's husband is a farrier, a man's man deluxe, he is. Son-in-law and he bonded soon after he married granddaughter.

Little by little life will sort itself out as usual, leaving us with wonderful memories of times past and sorrow that hopefully will dim a bit as time goes on.

Today, with a pat on his shoulder I said goodbye to THE REAL BILL . . . . . . . . . .

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