2000-12-06 - 16:37 MST

December 6, 2000

In A Mirror Darkly

Here my day has been spent on my attitude adjustment. In trying to figure out why my temper got so short that I said what I did. Heather didn't deserve that.

Discerning the reason is not the solution to the problem, really.

I have always prided myself on giving soft answers -- ha -- maybe that is what it was, pride. I guess most of the time pride doth go before a fall, and fall I did -- in her eyes, but deeper yet, in mine.

What to do about it, oh Lord, mind my manners, override the irritability from fatigue and pain, remembering that my own condition is no reason for me to hurt her. And apologize while showing my love for her, if she will let me.

This is not the season for actions of that kind, I guess there is no season where such time is allotted, but this is the very worst season to do such things.

In the back of my peabrain there seems to be a song, probably sung by Nat King Cole, I think the words of the song contain the title -- I can almost hear the tune and his wonderful voice singing, "You always hurt the one you love."

Loved ones are not supposed to hurt each other, because they are so vulnerable and unsuspecting of hurt from that quarter

Meanwhile in the world, the same disgusting to-do over our presidency - appeal - a peel--rind off fruit ? Terrorism and war over grudges dating before time began. Murders and child abuse go on as before, and all the dirty things that humans do to each other is in evidence. Freedom of information - ha - how far is the real truth going to be buried, by who, when and how much will it cost ?

From this vantage point I seem to be seeing the world backwards, reflected In A Mirror Darkly . . . . . . .

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