2000-11-19 - 06:51 MST

November 19, 2000

Rating

This for Nov. 19 but posted Nov. 20

I think many of us are quite similar in make up. I compare myself to some impossible to attain example of humanity, time after time. Still discovering the facts that -- I am not anywhere near as handsome as Errol Flynn, fumble tongued compared to Demosthenes, totally ignorant compared to Einstein, an inartistic man compared to Michaelangelo, Unoriginal compared to the supernerds of the computer / web world. And so on, and so on and on and on !

Finally remembering and reminding my self that I am unique -- one of a kind as are all the members of the human gang. My thoughts are my own to point in what ever direction I wish. My abilities can be improved by thought and practise.

All those things are up to me to accomplish, on my own. Why should I care and fret about the fact renown of the great artists will never be mine ? Why should I care about those things already mentioned ? I don't think I should. As long as I continue to polish and improve each facet of my personality and expertise, to improve myself in all ways -- I am doing the best I can for myself and there is no need for me to hold myself up against any unobtainable criteria.

When I try that old stuff again, I reach a point that it is wise for me to remember some of the character flaws I know about the greats. They weren't perfect -- but they also were unique. As well, for the most part they didn't try to cast the rest of us in their mold -- they were wiser than most of us usually are, no ?

There is a fine dangerous line between being satisfied with self and conceit. One indication to me when I begin to descend into conceit is noticing that once again I am making the mistake of stereotyping others and lumping them into groups presented, by myself to myself in an unfavorable light to me and trying to place myself above them. Exploration and determining a lot of the facts about other people and then walking a mile or even two in their shoes -- following pretty well their mindset and the things which are available to them, cuts me down to the fact the only thing I can truly say abut myself is that I am unique (no Brownie points though).

So, to me the course to follow is improving myself to the best of my ability and remembering that I must in all ways see me as I am and to be myself. That seems to me to be the only way to accomplish true, accurate, self Rating . . . . . .

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