2000-10-01 - 13:25 MDT

October 1, 2000

Gratitude

Speaking from my male viewpoint, I have been cogitating today about the flip side of counting my blessings, which are many of course for this lucky man.

I began to realize that while I have had many good men friends along the way who have greatly helped me along the path I tread, however the largest amount of my gratitude is toward the women who have peopled my life.

First was the woman who carried me as a passenger and then faced the difficult task of raising a pacifist rebel, oxymoron it is -- and I am still "oxymoronic" today. The men in the family were around on Sundays when we visited and of course in the evening after work and they taught us all the time practical lessons and administered the necessary discipline. When Mom had suffered to the limit and spoke to Dad the immediate result was a fire in my fantail.

Then in a ceasless procession of many women who made my life not only possible but also pleasurable. Apart from the harridan who took care of me after school till the folks got home for four years. She was an exception.

The male teachers in my schooling I respected, looked up to, learned from them and was encouraged by them but maybe because they felt the need to isolate themselves from us boys, or for some other reason they were never as memorable, close and kind as the women teachers.

As I grew there were things I noticed about women, the waitresses in restaurants or ulcer gulches were very good natured, kind and as a matter of course went out of their way to do things which most people didn't seem to notice. I noticed more maybe becaused my Mother worked out to help support us and I had a good idea of a lot of the difficulties a woman had to wade through. The waitresses who went at almost a dead run and yet were kind and polite, sometimes I would notice sweat on their forheads or the deep inhalation of the fatigued, the loads they carried and wondered how they could find enough energy to enjoy their off time. Yet, many of those people also raised a family, sometimes on their own, to be good citizens who could sympathize and instinctively have empathy for others.

The women clerks in retail stores who made shopping a pleasure and made you feel respected and valued.

The nurses, where ever encountered had the concern to gently do whatever needed to be done.

And of course Heather who has put up with me for fifty seven years and raised five wonderful children to boot. I was thus enabled to see Motherhood from the adult side of things and to appreciate the worry, trouble and work multiplied by work they had. Along with that my education continued, I saw how much of the load women took on their shoulders, partly to enable the mighty hunter to go slay the pig and mend the roof.

After our children grew up and gradually became self supporting. (A very good sign that they for a fact matured.) Heather had to become a keeper, a nurse maid and a handler of the business things I usually did.

I spent about a year away from home until she was sure I truly had stopped drinking. My health has never been as good as her's so she has been the nurse and medic on call for this old dude, frequently.

Fast forward to September 1997, again the total load fell on the woman of this family, she did everything but breathe for me while I was slowly recovering from a broken neck. In actuality it looks to me that the wreck injured her worse than my broken neck did me. For over a year she did the whole thing while I stumbled through physical therapy.

Okay, she is just one of the millions of women in the world who do essentially the same things for their mates and kids -- instantly and without complaint -- doing family triage trying to figure out who is the worst off and the most need of emergency care at that moment.

Sometimes it seems that women are the gold above the silver of we clods of men. If we are hugely successful, we probably have not given enough of ourselves to our family -- and if we aren't everyone even down to the family cat suffers. The rest of us men sort of plod along trying to do right by everybody. I also believe that there are more apathetic men than women.

Nothing is one hundred per cent, nothing. Examples can be brought forth by people on any side of the argument. There are examples of selfless actions and / or selfish actions in all persuasions or gender.

But Bastion, I think that women deserve the respect and love of men and above all they should receive our gratitude.

Note: my diary is seeing double until dairyland gets my diary straightened out -- if you wish to get on the notify list -- check the second edition just after the first. Thanks

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