2000-09-13 - 22:10 MDT

September 13, 2000

Draggin'

Bad night last night, the back pain really did not want me to get comfortable in any position nor was sleep allowed by that cranky thing. But heck, after all these years it still keeps my head above water, just now and then letting it get up to my lower lip. Sleepless -- lay down -- get up -- lay down, etc., etc., Tylenol not helping. Did manage to get a few e-mails answered but couldn't sit still very long. Finally I downed a naproxen with my morning breakfast and coffee, followed by another two hours later. Not supposed to take it, but if tylenol is not working and pain starts climbing to the "dark at the top of the stairs," it is the lesser of two evils.

My day, huh, yeah, dawn broke and nobody fixed it and the fire made the light bright. Stared at the newspaper while I egged my chin and slurped coffee.

Did manage to get enough awake to realize what a mess I was and disgustedly try to become a semblance of humanity.

Thinking about starting a web ring called, "Pillars Of Pain." Jeez though, what a mess it would be, us standing in a ring feeling sorry for each other and crying on shoulders. Naah, wouldn't work. So on to the alternative.

I did very little though, started packing up a bit of gear to ship, took a series of short naps after the naprosyn eased the pain, but did not sleep long enough to ruin a rest tonight. Will take two tylenols just before bed and hope for a nights rest.

I was going to drive down to the hobby shop but Heather said, "Not in that shape old man, and I am too busy to go anywhere today. Grounded like a teen ager, but she was probably right, it was better so.

Gee, ain't it fun to get old and creaky ? I do envy those spry seniors who can do things at their age that I couldn't do in my 30's. Man that's all we need tonight -- an envious pity party !

So, the world had to get along without my guidance today and seemed to manage very well, what an ego buster -- to discover things go on without you.

I had a few laughs reading jokes sent me, and shadowed along to see how other journallers were doing. When I feel down and in discomfort I am reminded of Hojoy the British girl who is locked in her body, but through an enabler is able to come up with some remarkable thoughts, and ? Stephen Hawkings ? the British scientist who accomplishes marvels of science although frail and bound to a wheel chair.

I saw my Dad sit in a wheel chair all day till bedtime -- he wouldn't let me get him into his into his room to exercise, he said it hurt too bad, that range of motion procedure. He never said that it was uncomfortable and painful to spend that many hours in one position in that damnable instrument of confinement. I think of the blind radio amateur who I used to visit and marvel at. And the one legged veteran I used to work with. Some of my net friends who are coping with ailments or orthopedic problems and are white knuckling it. So, I'm not at the point of feeling too sorry for myself.

I guess the mate to a bad night is a miserable day, and c'est la guerre. Pity party over.

Then there was the guy who hopped out of bed one pretty spring morning threw open the windows, and it looked so nice out, he left it out all day.

I think it was in Bonnies Journal I read the following: A bus station is where a bus stops, a train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station . . . . . . .

And, If quitters never win and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead ?"

If we are here, as we are taught, to help others, what exactly are the others here for ?

Then, "Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."

So this cowboy is goin' to the hitchin' post and ride way on his draggin'

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