2000-08-28 - 20:10 MDT

August 28, 2000Pages ?

As pondrus as a pondering Ponderosa -- here sit I. Cloud sifting and thinking that fall is sneaking up on me again. And I seem to see a similarity between the leaves falling and the pages of my life turning. Soon after falling the leaves not raked up and burned are covered by snow for the winter to be revealed in Spring as a sodden brownish guck. At least the husk of me will be out of sight of the world and not trod on as the remains of the leaves are.

In many different times and many different ways by many different people it has been said and resaid that, "The process of dying begins at conception." The similarity is neat really, my book's pages began turning when my dear mother conceived me. And for many years the pages turned un-noticed by me. My, "I will live forever," syndrome fired up the boiler of ignorance and disregard and I reeled along, this ramshackle person that I am, on blissful Cloud Nine.

Funny thing about the book of life, we are not able to flip to the back and read the last chapter to see how it all turned out -- bummer. So I do the familiar procedure taught me by AA, "One day at a time." Age has the advantage in giving me the time to, and the urge to contemplate the whole universe as I know it, and laugh and weep over the things past and present. As my physical strength decreases, my mental process now allows me the luxury of doing my Autumn Harvest, taking the results to the threshing floor, seeing the chaff blow away and the precious grains remain, and hoping for several years more harvesting. I am and never have been a hero, or a man of importance or wealth and have had no fame at all, but to me the grain on my threshing floor is as golden, precious and plentiful as that on the King's floor. And for sure, I am probably happier than most high mucketymucks -- they must have their fame and success to wave over the heads of the crowd -- and they probably fear that their influence is waning.

Smug ? Naaaah, happy and content, snug in the love of the family and enjoyment of simple things. I wonder what amazing amusements are on the next pages ?

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