2000-08-18 - 21:05 MDT

August 18, 2000

Ups-N-Downs

When I fly for a while, the necessity of refueling causes me to land. Often to a place below where I took off. That is life for me. It just seems that this human has his "euphoria" limit -- necessitating a return to existential reality and allow for the fact that not everyone is as far up in the clouds as I am. As I follow the landing pattern I encounter in passing those on the way up in their aura of golden happiness and also passed by ones on their way down at a much more rapid pace.

What a way to describe the short trip of getting down to the regular, ordinary day to day routines. But what is a blithering idiot to do but talk it to death ?

Equipment and furniture well placed and doing their work admirably -- they have a slight difficulty in gaining my attention though. My mind and body seem to say, "Phew, that was a heck of a job and sore joints and a tired mind will follow.

Today has been mostly spent sorting and putting away same old things in new places -- a much more efficient way to do things. Maybe, after time passes I will be able to locate where all my stuff is. "Now, let's see, if I were Bastion (which I am) where in the world would I put my check book and the bills to pay ? Somethings are still in the same place, the socks in the sock drawer beside the jockeys, clothes hanging in their usual places. It is me, now I am the new kid on the block and have to pay my dues by learning to use the map of regions yet untraveled.

Euphoria for me is not a steady state, there are the swings (not a psychiatric condition) when the pendulum goes in the other direction, just not so far as to be clinical, but far enough to enable me to appreciate the state I just left when it again returns. So for me, life returns to the normal, hum drum existing routine of small speed bumps. Hopefull awaiting the big Ups N Downs.

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