2000-08-14 - 23:52 MDT

August 15, 2000

Battle Fatigue

How kind and loving relatives are. My beloved daughter and her husband have decided to spend a good part of their short vacation time here in Denver to do a major overhaul of my own particular nest and nesting equipment.

They have gently persuaded me to finally decide to part with some lifetime possessions - - passing on some treasures to the ones I wish to have them and disposing of some useless things which I no longer used but were as comfortable as weeklong worn longjohns on a cowboy at roundup time during a chilly fall.

This entry made late on the night of the Fourteenth of August to serve as my entry for tomorrow shows that I am somewhat in a state of wonderment. Wondering if I will be the same man when I enter the heaven being created for me by my family.

Maybe I hope that I won't be, but maybe a bit better, and more appreciative than before. Maybe like a child plucked out of the mire, bathed, toweled, reclothed and set out to play again with the warning, "Now be careful and don't go around the swamp again," realizing the goodness and love surrounding me and trying now to be on my best behaviour.

I have the idea that Heather and Daughter have been conspiring together over this little bit, Heather has been unusually kind today and has graciously overlooked the gritty irritation of an old upset, uncomfortable man.

Heather spent a joyful time with our two grandchildren while we were out shopping and lived her heart's desire to spend a lot of time with them while here in town. But on our return my dear wife looked quite fatigued even so, and still put a cheerful face on life.

She just recently returned from taking care of them while their parents were overseas for about two weeks. Back just long enough to rest up for them to come to Denver on vacation.

If everything is coming up roses, why am I so confounded upset and out of it ? Think of rousing a hibernating bear in mid-winter slumber poking his butt while facing his bared teeth and long claws and shoving him out of his cave long enough to be able to do a bit of much needed housekeeping that he, for years has been to lazy to do himself. In a way, it makes me ashamed to have them see the place I spend a good part of my leisure time in the condition I let become so bedraggled.

No excuse, just the realization that the last time I did anything productive in here was several months before we went to Eugene, Oregon to see her and her family before our auto accident on the Fifth of September 1997 - - - great gobs of dust bunnies almost three whole years ago. All the things I let lapse into disarray, things piling on things that the intentions were to "take care of later," well later is here and things are being taken care of and old Dad will recover in a manner similar to his recovery from Gall Bladder surgery. Hopeful that the incision will heal rapidly and scarless, but knowing deep down that neither will be so.

So here I am sitting here trying to hold on to the bit of sanity remaining, happy as the Angel of Good Cheer and feeling as frazzled and lost as an eighteen year old mother of triplet two year olds, loves them, but becomes so distracted.

Points out I guess that old folks dislike change and sudden change even less. Oh, I know all this is so very much appreciated by me and how it has boosted my ego to an insufferable level. My happiness will reign and possibly everyone will get the overspray.

And how I hope to be able to help them as they help me. I am a very humble and grateful man tonight.

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