Jun. 18, 2005 - 19:40 MDT

PARAMETER ?

What does a guy do at times like these ? How much is too much and what would be considered by others as too little ?

Heather is staying with daughter since her surgery Thursday. Friday I called at eight in the morning, went over there to see her at noon. Heather was too nauseated to eat or even drink anything, but daughter fussed over me and put a meal on the table for me to eat. I spent a good part of the afternoon with Heather, sitting by her bed while she slept.

I left to go home before daughter rolled out the red carpet of �spoil Dad� and fed me supper. She has enough on her hands as it is.

Having stopped taking Dilaudid which made her sick as could be and changing to Darvocet she began to feel a bit more human. She sounded good on the telephone when I talked to her this morning. Later I went over to daughter�s house and Heather was quite a bit more lively, only took one Tylenol this morning. She ate some Jello and drank some water which was an advance to say the least. Later daughter served us potato soup which Heather ate most of her bowl.

I sat at her bedside while she intermittently drowsed and said a word or two. Then later on she got up to sit in a chair and began to watch TV and was interested in what shows will be on tonight. Good indication that she is truly feeling better.

The plan (which can be easily changed by circumstance) is for Heather to spend the night at daughter�s and be there for the gathering of the clan for Father�s Day. She will enjoy the grand kids and great grand children. As the day goes on and the gathering begins to thin, then Heather will know and decide whether to spend another night with daughter or whether she will be steady enough to come home.

In the days of yore, I could pick up Heather if she fell and handle most anything requiring my strength, no sweat. That�s not the case anymore. That is why she is with daughter and her hubby. Makes me feel bad about people who are kept by hospitals and not allowed to go home because there will be nobody there to take care of them. I remember when I was in hospital with a broken neck, before they let me come home employees actually came to our apartment and checked to make sure that it was possible for me to navigate when I got home. Heather said they had a checklist a mile long, I can�t imagine all the things on that list. But if their inspection show it was not satisfactory, then I would not have been allowed to come home but would have been sent to a recovery facility for a time, which would have been quite unsatisfactory to me.

So we are fortunate to have family who will help get one or both of us back on our feet. Our family is so greatly valued by Heather and I, it is on comparison with others we know about so far above average as to be unbelievable, at least I think so.

Then tonight I am wondering what more can I do to help Heather have a comfortable recovery ? Should I go over to daughter�s early in the morning ? Only thing about that is daughter will fuss over me and try to feed me, coffee me and her attention will be away from Heather. Yet I feel as if Heather is being deserted by me when I leave to go home.

This evening she is doing so much better that I am overjoyed. I wonder if perhaps I am falling short and not fitting the proper husband�s PARAMETER ? . . . . . . . . . . .

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