2000-07-26 - 18:01 MDT

July 26, 2000

Blank Pages

This is part of the continuing saga of a slightly befogged old poop and will probably be a short one. One male author once published a book titled, "What I Know About Women," having a few hundred totally blank pages.

I don't claim to know a whole lot, microscopic perhaps and I am completely mystified by some of the mechanism which drives their intellect. Not to downrate women, far from that, it is mixed admiration and awe.

Men converse differently than women for the most part. With men it usually is a comment, a pause while the listener processes what he just heard and thinks of what he wishes to say, then says it. Vice versa - to and fro. Sometmes the talk proceeds rapidly and sometimes slow and thoughtful. But usually there is a give and take routine.

Women, however, confuse me and I am unable to understand a damn thing they say. They all seem to talk at once, holding at least three different converstions, the cacaphony is dissonant to this dude. After we leave and start for home I will ask Heather what was said back there. And the tangled threads of the varigated conversations are untwisted, straightend out, laid out for the inspection of this bewildered macho brain. All of the conversations were heard, understood and replied to by her. The exact order of speaking is hard for her to sketch - - - all talking at once ya know. And sometimes a guy thinks (better not say) all that talk, for what ? Networking I guess is what the male contingent calls it now.

But - - - the female brain has the high speed circuitry and connections to process an infinite number of criss crossing words. Comparing men to women in this respect is male turtle to female swallow. Once some one tried to explain to me how a pbx handles calls - - - something about splitting everything up into micro slices at the talking end and putting the slices back together at the other end, thus allowing for many phones to operate on the same trunk lines serving that pbx.

Is it that women are genetically geared that way? To be able later on to cook a meal and serve it all when each item is just the right temperature, nurse a baby on her hip, keep peace amongst the older ? ankle biters ? (I think that is what Robin Williams called the little ones when he was acting as Mrs, Doubtfire). Talking on the cordless phone while answering the door, dusting a bit here and there on the way. Very true, a woman's plate is full, and of material indigestible to a man.

A woman works knee deep in kids, pets and salesmen. But a man works in an environment where his complete attention must be focused on one thing at a time - - - he works oblivious to the world and events in it until the alarms goes off in his timekeeping head and he breaks for coffee.

For my part trying to get something done around home when the kids were little entailed my defense against incursions on my tools and materials while having both hands busy. Finally in a fit of desperation calling out to Heather, "Honey please take the kids and keep them out of the middle of my operation out here - - - in here or where ever. My focus and train of thought in shambles, it would take a while to get aimed and begin firing again.

In a few ways I can understand the thinking and motivation of the ladies and be in complete sympathy. It is just that I wish they would back off and speak - - - - one - - - at - - - time!

When it comes to some of these tv panel discussions - - - all bets are off - - - Who ever talks the loudest and fastest manages to make the whole thing a useless operation. Each one now days not even waiting for a breath to be taken by the speaker but breaking into a word half spoken and grinding their own axe loudly. Blank pages ? The library could have shelves of them - - - each with a different title.

Bastion, why do you start off talking about one thing and before you end up you have gone six different directions? Well, this was a discussion of rapid fire thinking and communicating. The political stuff is just to show that men try this simultaneous talking to little effect. So, I have made maybe a tiny dot on the first blank page.

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