Apr. 12, 2005 - 15:36 MST

SEARCHING FOR BALANCE

Seems to me that's what life is, a balancing act. Looking way back my comprehension of fair and unfair was skewed when it came to relations with adults. So many things seemed unfair then, which in growing up to finally be an adult made me realize that adults for the most part were eminently fair to me.

It seemed to me that most of us kids had a built in sense of right/wrong, fair/unfair that although not talked over seemed to be an automatic thing. We knew what was fair and not. We saw occasional kids cross the line now and then, as did I. But, we knew what was fair.

I think we also knew the kids that were 'round the bend when it came to civilized behavior, and realized we could do little but stay out of their way.

Along the way I encountered the adult world that tried to skew me into the mindset of hate and discrimination. Couldn't see it, couldn't understand it and still don't. Names, names -- oh those horrible names which kept some people down unfairly. I do refuse to be colorblind as I value the people no matter what skin they wear, I have known many better than I.

I have been called a Liberal with connotations of hate and scorn. Some of my ideas of fair play cause some to despise me when I voice them. My ideas of fair play, some of them come from things I have read in the Bible. "A workman is worthy of his hire." A double edged instrument is that one. In my idea a workman to be worthy, comes to work on time, all the time, does his best at his job during his allotted time, cheerfully and is respectful to his bosses. But, a workman deserves a decent amount of pay so that he can support himself and his family. Which in this day and age should have health care included and figured in as part of his wages. Oddly, nowadays the average person can not afford health care. Often the case is that a person's health care comes through the emergency room and uses taxpayers money, otherwise a person couldn't afford it. I think part of that came from companies paying for health care for their employees, but not strictly observing what all the medical facilities were charging. And the "workman" it was a simple and easy low co-pay most of the time the person knew not what actual monetary figures were bandied about, which I think allowed a lot of health care professionals to up the tab on everything.

Things like corporate greed and unlawful actions add to the mix of "what's fair ?" So some people fair is what they can get away with and the devil with those who can eat cake and who don't have the money to buy any.

An even playing field, is there such anymore ? I remember how the Nazis were more or less ignored, left to do their monstrous work, until they tried for too much and the rest of us felt in danger. Why wasn't something done before ? Coupled with that is the thought of Iraq. Why wasn't that taken care of during the Gulf War when we had a decent excuse for waging war ? Reason ? Not too sure about that, was the reason oil ? Maybe that is why we are not in many areas of the world where people are being mistreated, enslaved suffering genocide and probably worse. Hutus and Tutsis, how many dead from that ?

And then the dogfight at the U.N. doesn't help much.

There seems to be so much wrong with the world now that no commonsense measures are being taken to correct the situation.

For me, things are simple, a smile, a soft word, a willingness to listen a bit, a helping hand if I can give it seems to let me go about my business. But what can I do when Big Brother decides it wants me to do without ? What about rambunctious violent, neighbors who seem to be multiplying around our country ? Smiles and soft words won't work under those conditions. Yet violence is abhorrent to me, as much as I hate it my efforts to defend my family will be violent if that is what it takes to protect them.

Conflicted in my heart and soul about things in our present. Like the cat on the fence, I am Searching For Balance . . . . . . .

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