Apr. 10, 2005 - 19:42 MST

THE WONDERING JEW

Ideological Inanity

The sound of one hand clapping ? The sound of one mouth mouthing with no ears around ? Tonight I feel much like a bit of both. There are so many good things going on in this world that one finds out only by being told by another -- certainly not in the newspapers or TV. Seems that only salacious, scandalous, totally scurrilious or any combination thereof items show up there. Sometimes glossed over with make nice language that even some of us grown folks have a hard time deciphering as to who did what to who and why.

Tonight this phantasm shall take a holiday of sorts. Had our in town family over this afternoon and early evening for coffee, tea, milk, Pepsi, cake, ice cream and visiting up a storm.

I'm very mellow on the eve of my 84th birthday, feeling quite well and very happy. Contented that those who could come did and many sent e-mails and cards.

Guess I am so happy because I have in spite of the way I treated my body it still lives in a modicum of comfort. Happy because my loving Heather is still by my side and I by hers, happy for the circle I inhabit.

Thinking back to the days of my childhood, depression years when my presents were perhaps two in number. Usually two books from Woolworths as that is about all Mom and Dad could afford. Then there was always a home made cake for me, made the way Mom knew I loved. The evening was spent playing rummy or talking back and forth, but together. It was a small family, just the three of us, but was a world of love.

There is sadness in my heart too, our son Rob who left this world last May 31 wasn't here in fact, in spirit I think, but his place at table was empty.

So what am I going to do for the next 84 years ? For as long as I last, probably much as I am doing now. Diarying my opinions and communicating with friends and acquaintances the country over and one or two out of our country but of similar mind. I can do a lot of that without a physical meltdown as long as arthritis does not silence my fingers. Through other people, roaming the world, going places I no longer can even dream of going. Planning another trip to the Denver Art Museum during the nice weather, when I can get one of the family to push me around in a wheel chair. I can no longer walk the walk there but enjoy being there drinking in the beauty of fine art. Hoping to make some day trips into the nearby mountains to be in close proximity with the snowcapped mountains I love. To hear the breeze sough through the pines and remember the smell of them. To get up there in the fall and again see the magic lanterns of Quaking Aspens between me and the sun, each leaf shimmering, translucent gold.

And of course to attend birthday parties, anniversaries and just plain get-togethers with friends and family. There is much to do, much to see and more to think about as well as learn.

But tonight I am loath to indulge in my usual Ideological Inanity . . . . . . . . .

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