Feb. 08, 2005 - 18:23 MST

THE WONDERING JEW

Daily Reality

Funny, how I can face my own mortality, but find it hard to acknowledge the mortality of those I love and friends of mine. I have that teenage philosophy, I guess, the good things will go on forever. But there seems to be those completely unexpected hitches.

I was reading the journal of a friend of mine, who today voiced her worries about her husband if she should be taken -- about how he would be taken care of. She is like a lot of us, has health and strength problems and though she acknowledges the fact, her worry is about how he will be taken care of. And I am sure that he, in turn, has the same worries about her. It's a thing that most of us who are pretty well along worry about, wondering who will take care of a mate when death or total disability comes.

With me, dear Heather has nursed me anytime I needed nursing, cheered me, paid attention to me and did whatever was needed even if I didn't know it was needed at the time. Recently when she was having trouble with her knee the onus was almost unbearable. If she fell, I couldn't pick her up as I used to. So many things I would be unable to handle as of yore. But we got her into the clinic and she was helped - - THIS TIME.

This feeling of helplessness seems to grow on me as I get older and weaker. Things I would be unable to walk out of. Of course we are more careful now, make sure the gas tank is full as neither of us can walk very far or very long. Our tolerance of cold is less and the need for warmth is greater, so a breakdown along the road can be a life threatening thing. Sure some one passing might stop and render aid, and maybe not. Things not thought of when we were younger must be considered by us and carefully thought out.

I'm probably not tracking too good tonight, a while ago we got news that our middle daughter's husband is in the hospital with a heart attack. Good news is that seemingly it did not damage the heart, but on the other side his life style will have to drastically change. Borderline diabetes has become full fledged and he will have to go on insulin, lose weight and such things.

Daughter was 55 in December and has spent most of her years being a housekeeper and child raiser so can't get out and earn a living for them if he becomes totally disabled.

We are here but a short time, and it flies past at such a great speed and it is hard to realize that our stay grows shorter -- but it does. Our prayers are for son-in-law and his dearests. And for all of us mortals who suffer or will suffer in the future, prayers are in place too. So I for one intend to enjoy and love to the utmost of my capacity those I love and things I like to do while facing the Daily Reality . . . . . .

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