Dec. 10, 2004 - 17:57 MST

THE WONDERING JEW

To Me

A time to face reality today I guess. Just thinking, statistically I should have been dead ages ago, but fortunately I am not. A time of life where I can say, "Its all more -- or -- its all less." Heh, more hard to crawl out of bed, more hard to walk very far, more hard to hear, see, feel, smell. Or less, less able to breathe well enough and the body take advantage of the oxygen inhaled, less able to do most of the physical things once done without a thought. The More Or Less Syndrome is a function of age perhaps, but it is there. Failing to realize it I think is a bit foolish for me to do.

Sure, I can't walk far at a time, but I can and do sit down and rest a bit and then go on. Make sure that I don't overexert to the point of needing more oxygen than my body can put into my blood. Making a point that enough exercise is done to preserve my range of motion and with the weights trying keep some strength available.

Much of my time is spent in planning my activities, arranging things needing done in a manner that I can do them. Having a knack of realizing what things are just out of my range, things like that.

All a part of the aging process I guess. More or less, what a mess -- if I allow it to be.

Then there is the mental side, the heart side, the love side. I have accumulated golden treasures galore, treasures which will disappear from here -- unless our progeny have been able to store them for themselves, and it looks as if they are doing quite well at that. The family that we are a part of, composed of our kids and their mates and kids and kids kids all seem to have that family spirit and love for each other that has enabled Heather and I to weather whatever storm might arise.

Reminds me of the old slightly indelicate story, the one about the old bull and the young bull. Standing up on the hill and looking down at the herd, the young bull says, "Hey, lets jump the fence, run down the hill and get with one of those heifers." The old bull mulls it over and slowly says, "No, lets walk over to the open gate, walk down the hill and get with all the heifers." Choosing the route to get what one wants is the wise way to go I think and choosing the best way to do it when there.

I have been greatly strengthened in having Heather for a mate, she steadys me no end. Encourages me in my efforts and thoughts, yet having a life of her own too. Much of the time our lives are intermeshed with each other, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. But she has classmate friends she keeps in touch with, church friends the same while still making room in her life for my friends.

Yah, gettin' old ain't fer sissies -- but seems to me that if I want to get older and still enjoy life I must adjust my attitude to fit the possibilities. Sure wouldn't want to be a sissie when I get totally helpless later on down the line.

When I was very young there were people of all ages around me. The old folks were a source of wonder for me, trying to visualize them as young and sprightly in their youth. But there was a song that began to be an explanation to me of how things should be later in life. The music of it has been playing in the back of my mind all along tonight and I googled the lyrics. It probably was old when I was very young, but the words tell it the way I think it should be.

Darling I am growing old,

Silver threads among the gold,

Shine upon my brow today;

Life is fading fast away;

But my darling you will always be, will be,

Always young and and fair to me.

Yes, my darling,

You will be always young and fair to me.

Thus it is that I always see that very young, slender, sweet and beautiful girl who was still in high school when I met her. That face shines through the silver frame that is hers now.

And so it is with our children, their baby, youthful faces beam at me with the love both old and new that has always been there.

Always young and fair To Me . . . . . . . . . .

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