2000-06-21 - 23:17 MDT

June 21, 2000

Time Clock

Home in time to make this an official June 21 entry. Unfortunately affairs must be taken care of - - Plain ordinary affairs, not extra - curricular. Jeez - - how could you think of such of a thing ? I am not above reproach, but my wife won't let me too far away to do much damage, nor do I have the inclination to get involved. Window shop, but don't touch, is the watchword.

Among other things, I put my wife on a bird bound for the Northwest for three weeks. I don't envy her, our daughter and her husband will be going to Italy for a seminar and gramma is taking care of the the two rambunctious children. It was carefully talked over between all of us that it would be better if I stay at home this time. I can't run fast enough to be of any help, I'm too weak to grunt and strain, and my fine motor control is not what it should be. Plus the fact that a male, not the father of the son might just present a challenge to the boy to test the waters.

Very gently and diplomatically it seemed to boil down that gramma will have to take care of only two kids instead of three.

She stocked up on everything - - enough for a battalion of teen agers. There is food in the freezer, prepared stuff in the Fridge - - a gigantic bowl of potato salad, a smaller bowl of green salad, a meat loaf, and the toilet paper to go with it. The pantry is loaded.

She is a worried woman - - didn't want to leave, but had to go. She has been reminding me to do the basic things while she is gone, take my medications, water the plants, wash the dishes, empty the trash, breathe in, exhale. - - yunno, the things I do around here automatically all the time. But bless her heart, she has been a mother to me for so long that it is force of habit now.

There was a long period of time while I was trying to come back to normal after the accident. Some of it was the weird medications I was on but the most time was spent carting me back and forth to the doctors, clinics and labs and helping with my physical therapy. If it hadn't been for her, it would have been months and months before I could leave the hospital.

So I am functional and prepared to be as lonely as a man who has access to people via the net can be. Of course she will be missed and worried about - - necessity rules ! No train wreck here, just off on a siding for a while. Oh yeah, don't drive the car anywhere. Yeah, right. But I love her, more deeply as time goes by.

I'm not too sure that the above makes much sense, but it has been a tiring, stressful day. Time Clock ? Yeah, I don't punch in on one anymore - - - but the needs and the pressures are still with us.

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