2000-06-17 - 18:00 MDT

Jun 17, 2000

? ? ? ?

"Hi, my name is, uh, lemme check my drivers license, if I didn't forget and leave it home. Ahhh, here it is, My name is Bill and I am a Forgetter. It crept up on me over the years, and by age 30 I was addicted to Forgetting, how that happened no one knows, why some people become addicted sooner than others and the true cause has never been found. We are addicts and will never get over it. We might someday be an Addict In Recovery, some of us have lapses and relapses and hopefully remember which coffin to jump into before the funeral.

We don't have time tonight for everyone to have a turn speaking, so I will just give you a short talk of my circumstances and events today."

"Bill, you promised to take me to the Mall today, and I am ready to go." "Okay dear, I'll go get dressed now." "Scuttering through the closet I can't find shirt or pants, Honey, I can't find my clothes can you help me ? Wife plods in and gets my clothes from their hangers in the closet and gives them to me. Before she goes I ask, "Honey, do you know where my shorts and socks are? She turns and tersely says," "In the sock and underwear drawers, nutty, in our chest of drawers, d' ya' need a map ?" "My clothing assembled and donned, I stumble to the door and holler, geez, now I can't find my shoes, Baby !" "She screams at me, "They are on the same shoe rack in the closet, you know the one we bought when we were newly married, and don't look on the high shelf, the rack is on the floor - - - I do hope you have memorized the route to the front door."

"After I went to the rack and sorted out my shoes as to rights and lefts, one of each - then trying to find two of the same color, I put them on, start to walk, trip on my shoelaces and fall to the floor. While in the recumbent state, I contort myself and manage to tie my shoes."

"That done, I proceed into the living room and pick up a book, sit down and start reading.

Later an infurated spouse re-enters our apartment and begins to belabor me with her purse. I think it weighs ten pounds or more and to boot it is lumpy with hard stuff." "She says in a clipped voice, "You said you were going to take me to the mall today, dummy, but when ?" "I rise and accompany her out the door and go to the car." "Oh, wow, I forgot my keys, I said and headed back into the house, got my keys and as I was going out the door she hollered at me, "Get your billfold and checkbook, and by the way, after you get them would you mind locking the door, rabbit brain? After you come out, of course." "I felt sort of hurt by the way she was talking to me, but I forgot why.

We got in the car and I asked her," "Which mall, Hon ?" "And got the scathing reply, "The only one in town, you ass." "Getting a little hot under the collar, I swallowed my hurt and anger and drove to our Mall. We parked and I headed for the buildings." "Wifey hollered out, "Just a minute while I pick out landmarks so that we can find the car when we come out." "Finally we get into the shops and things got easy for me, I just made sure I kept her in sight and followed her until she had me whip out my check book - - - which she reminded me that I had it in my back pocket. After she finished her shopping we went to the restaurant we like there - - - I think we like it. We ate and while eating I noticed the wife writing something in her notebook, she wrote quite a long time, and then we had dessert. On her way out she said," "Get in the passenger seat and I' ll drive." "In a short time we pulled up in front of this building and she said," "Bet you forgot that tonight is your Forgetters Anonymous meeting." "As I got out of the car she handed me the note book and said," "Here you'll need this."

"This is the very note book she wrote at dinner here on the lectern that she gave me to talk from, and she has my gratitide. I'm sure glad that she wrote it up at the restaurant. It's about time for me to give someone else a turn. Oh, did I tell you people that I am Bill and I am a Forgetter ?"

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