Dec. 15, 2003 - 18:21 MST

THE WONDERING JEW

No Re-run

It was a long time ago but is still in my memory. Probably one reason for my likes and dislikes in the apparel department yet today.

Long knee-length socks and knickers. Oh darn, those socks and knickers. The knickers would sag no matter what and the socks would droop around my ankles. I couldn't stand a garter around my leg and doubt that in the end it would have done much good anyway. How I hated them and longed with all my heart for Long Pants.

It always seemed to me that people treated me as a kid younger than I really was just because of my unkempt knickers and misbehaving socks, or was that just me ?

Back then, having no hips to speak of, I had to cinch up my belt to keep my pants up and that was uncomfortable too. Self conscious, uncomfortable, rebellious and unlearned - that was me.

I used every ploy my mind would conjure to get Mom and Dad to buy me long pants, without any luck. Never did understand why and the only answer I got was, "You are too young." Which did not set too well for a little kid who wanted to be grown up. A kid who didn't realize the attendant responsibilities and work which grown-upness entailed. At that age I guess the feeling that childhood would be forever in some respects and yet I also could be a grown up. Think some folks are still that way.

Guess I got my wish in some ways. I'm still ten years old when I first wake up in the mornings and like to play with the kids when I can be around them.

I grew into a person who very quickly got over wanting to dress up, wear a necktie and long sleeved shirts. Haven't changed much over the years either. Comfort is my byword and if it looks nice that is a bonus.

My first long pants were a tragedy. About the time that Mom and Dad thought I was old enough to wear long pants Mom bought me a pair at the Golden Eagle that were light blue and somewhat like denim with a stretch waist. A waist similar to what some pajamas have, only a little stronger. But not strong enough. My first day at school, wearing my long pants with pride and striding along, chest puffed out 'cause now I was a big guy. Two class mates of mine came up to me, one on each side, grabbed my pants about pocket high and pulled them to the floor. That was back when men's swim suits were more modest than jockey shorts. If a person can blush all over, I did. More or less naked in front of the world, I was and little boy ashamed of it.

I made it home from school without being waylayed and have the same thing happen over again. That night when Mom and Dad came home I lugubriously told them that I was going to wear my knickers from now on. Seems to me it took them quite awhile to pry out of me what the deal was. I remember telling Mom that they wouldn't even be worn around the house.

I wore knickers for a few more days until Mom could buy me a pair that had belt loops. Then I realized that my waist was captive to a belt forever.

The memory makes me chuckle about how childish I was, but by Golly I wouldn't wear them even now. I lived through it once, but will not stand for a Re-run . . . . . . . . . . .

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