Aug. 03, 2003 - 21:13 MDT

THE WONDERING JEW

Girded Loins

Sometime bad news is slow in coming, sometimes it is instantaneous. But it is bad never the less. I am speaking of news that is bad and is irreversable. Many of us have had that sort of news and have had to learn to cope with it - forever.

Some years ago our oldest daughter had some mental problems which appeared to be over after a long stay at Fort Logan (a mental facility here). She married her childhood sweetheart, they were settled in their apartment and things seemed to be going fine. While her husband was at the store or wherever (can't remember where exactly - but away for a short time) she found a gun and attempted suicide. The bullet rattled around inside her skull, left her in a coma for a long time and was hospitalized for a longer time after that.

When she had recovered as much as the doctors thought she would, then came the extend stays at custodial care nursing homes. We always have visited her and we saw that she wasn't happy in that environment but could find nothing better for her. Years passed and finally she was taken into assisted living facilities by a brain injury foundation. She has been quite happy there, gets along well with the other residents, but still remains speechless.

But for us the the moment that changed everything forever was the instant she pulled the trigger.

Heather and I were at our limit and were about to try to find a nursing home for my Dad, but didn't have to go through that vicious choice as he died before we started looking. Moment that changed everything forever was when we moved into his house to take care of him.

It has been harder to cope with daughters circumstances than with my Dad's death. But on the net there are people who are frank enough to talk about themselves and what is happening to them. Many of them are in the "changing forever" situation. Putting aged kin into nursing homes, coping with deaths, brain injuries, mental things without cure, many things do that to a person or a couple.

Just recently there is a young couple who have a precious, beautiful little daughter. We read about her while still aboard her mother and after she was born we saw pictures and movies too of her all along her young life. She didn't speak and for a long time her parents thought that soon she would be able to. But after a time they started to try to find out what was wrong. They live back east where all kinds of assistance in problems like that are handled by experts. Just recently they found out and were shown the MRI that determined that she has a brain condition that probably won't get worse and certainly not better that will keep her prisoner in her skull forever, at least speechless. Her Mom and Dad will try everything possible to improve her condition in every way they can -- much like we did with our daughter. But with our daughter we know at least she is happy. As the little girl grows I pray she can be happy and have understanding of things too.

Life isn't fair, just read about Job if you doubt. But like everyone who gives a damn we face life with Girded Loins . . . . . . . .

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