Jun. 02, 2003 - 23:21 MDT

THE WONDERING JEW

Waiting For A Fill

First business day of the month and we were busy, busy. Heather to the Sleep Apnea clinic to be shown how to use the portable recorder for the night. Hee hee, she gotta get up early to get it back by ten o'clock tomorrow morning. Hope it gives some coherent results.

I learned something today, CPAP = Continuous Positive Airway Pressure, and saw on a video how it works. Heather wonders if she can adapt to wearing that in her sleep. Not too sure it would be so easy for me. I'd probably wipe it off my face or wipe my face off on the wall in my sleep. I fight my oxygen cannula at night trying to keep it on all night. But I'm moderately successful. I hope my need for oxygen throught the night never gets to the point that I will be in serious trouble if I get myself disconnected.

Process of adaptation I guess, I manage to keep my cannula on most of the night now. When I first started wearing it the thing would find its way to the floor early on and be reinstalled after a night time pit stop.

Seems at the ripe time of life a person begins to have to add equipment to one's self just to keep going. Necessary but frustrating. That fifty footer tube that hooks me up to the Oxygen Concentrator at our apartment gives me freedom of movement but the darn thing keeps tripping me up or hanging up on things in the craziest places and keeps tying itself in knots. Sometimes barefoot is not the way for me to go, that crazy tube gets between one of my big toes and the toe next to it and it doesn't shake loose very well at all.

Since Heather was in hospital last, I have been trying to pick up as much of the housework as a clumsy man can. She is improving, but slowly and her energy is a problem. She is gaining on it too but hasn't talked "shopping trip" very much other than to mention how she would like to go soon, non-commital on when though. Matter of time I think.

Not much of me coming out on paper (page) tonight, sort of waiting for the word on Son, hoping and praying that it is something that can be corrected easily and soon but fearing that is not the case. Secondarily, hoping that the remedy is highly successful even though extended for months, fighting off grim thoughts and praying.

Tonight my tank is empty and is Waiting For A Fill . . . . . . . . .

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