Mar. 04, 2003 - 17:39 MST

THE WONDERING JEW

'Tain't Spring Yet

Cripes, we just got the durn Christmas tree down and the stuff put away.

Now my beloved Heather has the painting crew coming in soon. Big uproar and scattered confusion. Way back when, this painting sounded like a very good idea, academically. But the day draws near.

Made a start on it yesterday. On our trip to Costco I brought home more empty boxes than groceries as well as what the groceries were in. Small ones of course. Big ones get too heavy and unwieldy even if loaded with sofa pillows.

Those boxes are now loaded and stowed. Now to get more boxes.

We are still in the process of trying to figure out just where to put all the stuff from the apartment to make room for the painters. The big stuff - furniture and things like that will be put out on our slab for the day. But it is the ten trillion little things that will fill many boxes that are the hard things for us to take care of.

Most of the pictures are off the walls and in boxes already stored in a place where they won't get broke. Books, phone directories, magazines and catalogs yet to go. The big China Closet bothers me. Shelves full of breakables, all treasures along with the glass shelves from the upper part will have to be put somewhere they won't get broken, Coffee Table glass stored as well. The stuff from the lower part of the China Closet will be combined with the stuff from the buffet and put aside out of the way.

Then, after the painting is done and they put the furniture back comes the unwholesome job of putting everything back in a satisfactory manner. I am sure that we will never be able to put everything exactly where it was, so will come the discussions and decisions that I hope will not cause any bloodletting.

It is almost as bad as moving and trying to get settled. Heck I am settled now and can look at slightly smudgy walls, but Heather can't.

In a few ways I envy the old cave men. No walls to wash and paint, no windows to clean and no roof to leak, no carpet to fool with. All the scenery one could want just outside the entrance. But then I wonder, did the cave wives bug their old men to get this, that and the other thing to spruce things up a bit ? New bearskin to lay out on the floor ? A layer of rough pebbles in front of the entrance to keep tracked in mud and blood down to a minimum ? It could have been nice back then, no gridlocks, no crowded tenements, relatively little air pollution. But I am sure that I am romancing the old days, they couldn't have been all good. That sort of thing ended when we got evicted from the Garden of Eden I guess.

I have never had to fight a tiger or a bear to get from point A to point B or home safely, nor have I ever been stalked by a wild animal (four legged) that is. But I wonder, seems to me that we live in much more dangerous times than the cavemen ever did. Now we have muggings, buggings, lugging of heavy stuff up the stairs and the general paranoia of the present day. Car crashes, trashes everywhere, flashes of fire with no escape.

Guess I'll keep a low profile, walk quietly, speak little and try to do what Heather wants. I sure don't want to be out there, somewhere, wind in my hair (what there is of it), icicles in my beard. Yep, guess I'll be good for now.

But, heck's sake, 'Tain't Spring Yet . . . . . . . . . .

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