Dec. 06, 2002 - 20:45 MST

THE WONDERING JEW

Zilch

It comes to pass now and then, a bad night and a worse next day. Nothing earth shaking or any kind of an emergency situation. Just a bump in the road really. But I just went over it through the night.

Went to bed at a decent hour last night, just drifted off to sleep, drowsed off and rolled into a bad position. Spinning in bed like a top is normal for me, easing the muscles and grating bones. But somehow I flipped a bummer and really began to super hurt.

Got up, took a Tylenol and checked my behind e-mail, sent a couple. Tylenol began to help marginally so I took a Benadryl, which for me is a much better sleeping potion than any of those prescription addictives. Sacked in when I became drowsy and went to sleep. Less than an hour, back up again. More Tylenol, more e-mail in and out, took one of my Naprosyn (Hi power NSAID) that I had squirrled away for just such a situation and took another Benadryl. Got drowsy and went back to bed. That was about three AM.

The bad part came after that. Three twenty PM I woke up. Heather knew I had a bad night so let me sleep in and went to have one of those occasional days and luncheon with her old school chums. Guess it is good thing that the need for a pit stop happened to wake me or I would probably still be asleep.

This is the time of my life when years speed by as days used to. Every awake minute I treasure, even though I might be uncomfortable. But I am a miser and hoard time to my chest as a miser does his gold. I don't accomplish a heck of a lot but the little I do is a source pride and gratification to me.

Proud and happy that I can do much of anything nowadays. Even as a child I felt that sleep was a waste of time and haven't changed a whole lot. I did eventually learn that sleep is a necessity for health and mental stability. But I begrudge every minute lost in sleep. Since our car accident in 1997 about the only dreams I have are occasional nightmares about it that makes it out to be worse than it was. So, I must sleep. Then get up when I wake enough to realize that I am me. Often the pit stop bit causes me to stumble, Braille system like, to the bathroom and slowly become aware that there is something happening in the world that I want to know about, and to be able to visit with Heather, etc. If the coffee is not on yet, I do the dirty deed. Strength of coffee depending on what I think is needed to get me awake. Heather takes a sip and depending on the strength of the brew will often heat water in the teakettle to tone the coffee a bit.

Seems that I do my dreaming over the keyboard anymore, some of it true memories but other things of the fantastic and wishful. World peace for one wherein everyone sees to their welfare as necessary and does not hate anyone else, but spends their time in peaceful pursuits and family relations. A world where there is no possibility of video cams watching my every step outside the house as is possible now in Washington, D.C., farfetched things such as that. Things I desperately wish could be true. No poverty or starvation, no suffering from the cold or desert sun, no demanding thirst, clothes and a roof above. Thing that really gets to me is that it can be done, but probably won't because a lot of us would have to scale back our lifestyle so that others could subsist. A dream that no money, materiel or lives would ever be wasted in war on military actions.

I have dreams, plenty of them, but must be awake to dream them.

"So, Bastion, what did you really accomplish today ?" Well, really, Zilch . . . . . . . .

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