Nov. 15, 2002 - 18:03 MST

THE WONDERING JEW

Got Me

Going back to my earliest memories tonight. The time when I couldn't button my shirt nor tie my shoes. Application of a hammer to a nail was almost impossible, hits 2 out of 5 maybe and if I was lucky the three misses didn't involve a finger or thumb. A very frustrating time of life it was, seeing people older than me deftly doing the things I wanted to do with ease too. My height wasn't up to what I wanted it to be, shoot - I couldn't even see what was on the table. Legs not long enough to keep up with any one taller than me.

There were things that could be accepted, learning to read and do arithmetic I seemed to know would come later. There was no doubt in my mind that I would grow up, marry and be the father of children and that I would earn enough that we could eat, have shelter, clothes etc.

But the physical things bugged me. Trying to button anything, trying to tie shoelaces properly, trying to keep my short pants covering the tops of my long stockings while I prayed for long pants. Whatever it was I wanted to do physically, most of the time my attempt was raggedy and clumsy.

For many years after I reached six feet high I could do those things and more, with absolute enjoyment. I spent some years clerical, shuffling papers, pounding a typewriter, filing, sifting through dusty records etc. But for most of my working years I was doing things mechanical requiring a decent level of dexterity and coordination. Along with that was on the job school, learning and practicing 'til I could make a step up. I gloried in the adept use of different kinds of tools. I gathered some facts and figures and the understanding of many things. Example, water weighs 8.33 pounds a gallon and how to calibrate a pressure guage to compensate for the column of water in the line from high above to the guage so that it will read what the actual pressure is above. How various parts of machines worked and were maintained.

I suddenly realized something last Sunday when we were at lunch with daughter and she said to me, "Thanksgiving dinner will be in the evening this year at our place. I know it will be after dark and possibly snowy. We will send someone from here in a fourwheel drive to pick you two up and take you home after." The kids are looking after us in the nicest way. Sure we have an all wheel drive vehicle but have the reflexes and reaction times of the old. A good reading on my state is when I was trying to tie some twine to secure things for the winter out side, which I do every year. Seemed that my fingers were trying to disown me. How stupidly clumsy. Takes me a lot of time and fumbling now to button my shirt, I get it done but it takes time and a bit of cussing. Chuckle, I don't have any trouble tieing my shoes anymore, they have velcro closures, handy that. My strength is approaching that of a child too as well as endurance. Only difference is that a kid can zorch around the yard and have to flop down and rest, for ten seconds maybe. Me, when I vacuum the apartment with our feather light Orek I have to sit down periodically and rest a bit. And it is a small apartment.

Am I playing a pity me tune ? Nope, just bringing myself to face the fact that my prime is behind me and that I am as terminal as the rest of humanity, just somewhat further along the line than those younger than I.

I still can and do have much fun and games as I used to, if they don't involve physical -- hand eye coordination types of things.

There comes sometimes nap time, an hour or so of relaxation, catnapping, a prerogative I longed for when working but seems to me now as a waste of time. Age does have its compensations, many of them. One of the fun things is to be able to honestly sing, "Ol' rockin' chair's Got Me . . . . . . . .

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