Oct. 01, 2002 - 18:28 MDT

THE WONDERING JEW

Kids

Some times things nudge me into thinking about the state of human beings here now. Today it was the comic strip, "Stone Soup." An elder lady in her kitchen talking, says,"You young people crack me up." "You have kitchens full of cuisinarts, microwaves, pasta makers, convection ovens, bread machines and Italian cookware." "And yet none of you cook." The younger lady listener breaks in and holds up an ovoid object and says, "Look ! They sell eggs already hard boiled !"

I wonder how many homes have an unused breadmaker ? Ours doesn't, we gave it to our daughter ! But we do have a toaster oven in mint condition, and a few other things that will never be used.

One thousand favorite coffee cups -- I fibbed a bit, think its only around 435 of them. Now for the two of us, just how many favorite coffee cups do we need ? We have the cups that go with our good set of dishes, with saucers even.

A battalion of handy-dandy special purpose tools that are supposed to do miraculous time and effort saving things that I can't even find some one to pass them on to, never were used nor was there ever a need for me to use them. I must have been out of my ever living mind when good hard cash left my billfold to buy them. I feared that Goodwill would bar the door when they saw me coming, but they accepted them - with a snicker.

Stashed away somewhere in one of our closets is artic wear that would protect us against 80 below zero weather. Same type of gear stowed in dresser drawers and shoe racks. But I just can't seem to ever find a rain repellant jacket.

I plead guilty of another kind of offense. I have three jockey shorts that are over twenty-five years old. They are the first worn out of the fresh laundry. They are loved, they are falling apart and have been for a long, long time. I learned long ago how to staple the loose parts together in a way to keep from being scratched. I haven't weighed the heaviest but would guess several pounds would be about right. But to me they are family members and besides it was always like waving a red bull in front of a flag when they used to say, "What if you are hit by a car and you are wearing those nasty rags when they undress you at the hospital ?" Some of my sweaters who have lived next to my body and have reached retirement age but are pressed into service when I think it might be cool out and maybe it will be possile to sneak by Heather without being turned back at the door.

Cardboard boxes . . . . hoo gee, they are saved by both Heather and I, every size and type imaginable except refrigerator boxes. Even had one of them when we still had a house. Neither one of us wants to let go of a single one. Why ? Because some day in some unforseeable way maybe we might need one of that exact size. Grocery bags ? Paper or plastic ? We have two tube shaped bags wherein the plastic bags are stuffed in a hole at one end and pulled from a hole in the other, the paper bags are neatly folded and tucked away to be used if ever needed. The paper bags gradually disappear as they are biodegradable - only to be replenished from time to time.

There are three clocks here that I make sure are in running condition, our clock radio/alarm and occasional fresh batteries in the other two. We do have others here which occupy niches and nooks here and there around the apartment, 'cause they look pretty and who knows but what someday one of the working ones might expire.

I have two pair of nice warm gloves almost in mint condition because they get lost during nice weather and it is nice weather most of the time here in Denver so they end up on the bottom layer of something or another and no one can remember which drawer, pile or shelf they were put on the last time they were used in the dim past. Oh, but I am proud to own them. They are not useless, but I suspect I am.

Our pantry gets cleaned every year, down to the bare shelves which are washed nicely as are the things occupying them. Then there is the huge debate between us. The pantry was built to be a walk in. But it ain't. Shelves are full to overflowing and stuff stacked three deep on the floor. So, what goes to the Goodwill and what remains ? Some of each in order to make room for the next batch of incoming pots, pans, and seasonal stuff that might get used once a year. But I am fed well and the kitchen and pantry are sacred territory owned by Heather.

Although our daughter and her husband cleaned out my growling den two years ago, talking me into contributing a ton of books once read and unlikely to ever be read again to a worthy recipient, I see that already there are books that will have to go to accommodate the inevitable stacks of things that might be needed by me sometime in the near future - which will be discarded in turn later on.

Nowadays we glare at each other when seeing a garage or yard sale somewhere and both decide it wouldn't be worth the fight if one of us wished to stop and look. So we pass on by without comment.

I sometimes think some of us humans are like the birds and animals called, "Camp Robbers," attracted to bright and shiny things and take to the den or nest and tuck away for who knows what ?

I envy people like the Japanese who live in very small quarters and have to use every square and cubic inch to keep things that are needed and used everyday. With just a treasure or two on display. Such a simple life to lead, but one that will never be lived by me.

Maybe a lot of this started at a very early age, when boys and girls tried to accumulate every toy available, bicycles were adorned with every attachable thing, dolls were hoarded in droves as were those delicate little toy tea sets. All kinds of cap pistols were the arsenal of the macho bunch.

So I guess we each can gesture behind us with a backward pointing thumb and blame it all on the Kids . . . . . . . . .

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