Sept. 23, 2002 - 19:10 MDT

THE WONDERING JEW

Hard Work

From birth until I passed the milestone of "X" months it is said that a fitting definition for me was, "A tube of flesh with a loud noise at one end and a complete lack of responsibility at the other." They never admitted that as being a quote, but I think it was. Also pretty close to the truth in a humorous vein. We are their's and they are prejudiced and we are loved, otherwise we would be farmed out somewhere for a growing time - somewhat like a feed lot.

The world put up with me for that distracting, aggravating time, until my folks saw that I could understand what they said. From that time 'til today the world has been trying to get even with me by devious means.

When I was very young it seemed to be a constant flow of, "Douggie don't," at what ever action I started. And if I didn't start anything, that was wrong too.

I knew not how far behind me my beginning was, my aware memory was covered with gauze and cotton wool but seemed to stretch behind me to infinity. A bewildered lad, shaking his head and not really having the language to even talk to himself much, I suddenly found myself hemmed in. Everybody I encountered was bigger than I and had authority to tell me yea, nay and stop that right now. The old bit of, "Douggie, what are you doing in there ?" And when I would say, "Nothing," (which meant I was behaving) usually brought the remark, "Well stop that right now." After we raised our kids I began to understand that script. If a kid or kids don't occupy themselves doing something that produces a little noise, Mom, Dad or whoever, begins to wonder what is going on. Quiet is automatically suspicious.

Not yet old enough to debate anything, whining, "why ?" only got me the answer that I interpreted as, "because."

Each spurt of growth brought new problems for me to cope with. Seemed like I was forever running an exercise similar to the one the high school and college athletes were running, a staggered row of tire casings on the ground and the object was to run through them, putting the proper foot into each tire. Then the world speeded up more rapidly than I did. The tires smaller and closer together and the demand for speed ever increasing.

As I began to understand some things, coming right behind them were more and stiffer puzzles to wrangle with. I suffered the syndrome of youth I guess, music stirred my soul. I could hear the same tune over and over and want to hear it more. Favored music wasn't good unless it was loud. Couldn't figure out why the grownups got upset with me over such a thing.

Then came the enigma of life, the monstrous surge of HORMONES and the realization that girls didn't have cooties, also they were soft and nice. No way will I describe my dreams. Most guys have probably had similar ones I think. Striving to make at least one of those dreams into a real life experience caused me a difficult time or two.

All along the way school was my onus. Missed a year and was passed on with my classmates on my return to school. Never did quite catch up no matter how I tried.

I faltered, stumbled, tripped and bounced off walls. My progress could be counted by days and months and a year now and then, with little else to show.

I did get a bit taller, heavier and quicker so was able to mount a fair defense. My difficulty there was in knowing when to get active about it. Caught hell a few times when I jumped the gun.

Finally I reached the dreamed of age of twenty one, working a job, able to drink and that sort of thing and not as puzzled about the stumbling blocks the world put in front of me. By definition I had reached my majority, still learning yet and with a bit more grace now that the push to go to school was behind me.

There were many memorable and happy times to file away in my memory and heart, but interlaced were those disheartening periods of puzzled despair.

Now I have been retired twelve years, my children raised, I'm on my pension and social security, looking forward to our sixtieth wedding anniversary next June. Having a good bit of joy in life and with family nearby to visit. Next milestone I guess will be my departure from here - my graduation of demise. Not fearing it, just knowing that it will be the big one.

What fun life is, the sparkle, the zest, the blood singing in my veins. But, I do remember that growing up was doggone Hard Work . . . . . . .

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